


The brother of my dreams

by crazysnape



Category: Glee
Genre: Canonical Character Death - Finn Hudson, Implied/Referenced Cheating, Klaine Break-Up, M/M, Past Rachel Berry/Finn Hudson, Slow Build, referenced character death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-16
Updated: 2014-08-16
Packaged: 2018-02-13 09:54:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 39,524
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2146359
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crazysnape/pseuds/crazysnape
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He was living in New York with his best friends, he was finally going to the school of his dream and had a wonderful fiancé. Life was perfect for Kurt, until a dreadful phone call. Losing people you love hurt and Finn's death froze them more than a slushie. Family, friends ... everything changed. Some people grew apart while others got closer than they would have never imagined</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. part 1

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the Puckurt Big Bang 2014.
> 
> Beta read by GayforKurt, Indinfiteness and Julie

 “ _Kurt? Isabella is waiting for you in her office,” Rachel said._

_His best friend was wearing a beautiful Versace suit. Kurt was so proud of the change he saw in her.  
But then, he saw her frowning, her eyes scanning him, and she pulled a face before adding “Maybe you should change before joining her” and she turned around and closed the door._

_Puzzled, he lowered his eyes and froze._

_How was it possible? Pajamas. He was in his favorite pajamas, the coziest one, with the red and green stripes!_

_He stood up and started looking for some pants, a shirt, anything to prevent Isabella from seeing him like this._

_He didn’t for a second doubt that she would fire him. How could someone dress in such a horrible thing and dare come to Vogue dot com? He was about to reach for the Armani shirt lying on the chair behind the door when something shifted._

_He was not at Vogue any more. No more desks, no more whispering sounds, no more high-heel clicking on the floor, no more Armani shirt on the chair._

_Kurt turned around and discovered a completely different room._

_Smaller, whiter._

_Frozen, he tried to understand where he was, but this place was completely unknown to him. He had never been here._

_BOOM!_

“ _Ouch.”_

_  
A voice sounded - wait a second, he definitely recognized that voice._

_And then it hit him. Finn! He quickly turned around and barely hesitated for a second before running towards him. His brother lay on the floor. His bloody brother lay on the floor!_

“ _Finn? FINN? Can you hear me?” His eyes were opened, but they seemed lost, Finn seemed to be staring at him, but Kurt couldn't tell if it was a conscious act or not. There was blood on his arms and from the way his leg was turned, Kurt could conclude that at least one bone was broken._

_Kurt tried to remember what he was supposed to do. He had a first-aid certificate but nothing useful came to his mind, only the constant humming of his own thoughts, reminding him to“Breathe, Kurt, breathe! Finn needs you.”_

_He shook his head, hoping to put it back straight, but it did not work. All he could see was the blood which kept on flowing. There was blood on the arms, on the legs, blood on the floor, blood everywhere._

_  
And, the sounds, they seemed louder and louder while Kurt remained frozen, unable to act as he should, unable to even call the 911._

_His phone was heavy in his pocket, and he only paused for moment to ask himself 'Since when does my pajama have a pocket?' before it started to ring._

 

Kurt woke up with a start, and sighed: it was a dream. No, a nightmare, a horrible nightmare, Finn was okay... then he realized his phone was really ringing and his heart stopped for second or two.

He glanced at the time: nearly two am. Who could possibly calling him at the time of the night? Hastily he reached for the phone and read the word “Dad” on the screen.

Without hesitating he picked up.

“Dad?” the silence which followed confirmed his foreboding “Hey, kiddo.” His father's voice was weak, so different from his usual one, than Kurt felt his guts knot tightly together.

 “Are you okay? No, do not answer that, it's stupid. Of course you are not ... What's happened? Is it Carole?”

“There was an accident...”

In that moment pictures from his dream came flashing before his eyes, and somehow he knew. “It's Finn, isn't it? He asked with a hesitant voice. “Dad!” He yelled, when his dad didn’t immediately answer him.

He was yelling, he knew it, but he didn’t seem to be able to stop himself.

“Yes, we are not sure how it happened.... He’s in the operating room. He was in very bad shape when he arrived. They ... the doctors are doing their best, but for the moment we just … have to wait. I thought you should know ... Maybe I should have waited until we have some more news...”

Kurt cut him off. “No, you did the right thing, I have to … I'm coming, I will look for a flight and I'll call you back as soon as I have an arrival time. Yes, I'm coming. I'll keep my phone within easy reach so don’t you dare hesitate to call me as soon as there is news, okay?”

His dad seemed to contemplate his sons words, weighing the pros and cons, before finally conceding, and just letting his son have his way.

“Do you need money for the plane ticket?”

The simple fact that his father didn't ask him to stay in New York and go to school spoke huge volumes. Finn's state was very, very bad. As soon as he hung up Kurt got up and made a reservation on the next flight out. He was lucky enough to find a plane leaving in two hours, but he had to be fast. He quickly threw some clothes in his suitcase and headed for the door. Kurt was about to go through the door when he heard voices behind him.

“Kurt, where are you going so late?”

 He turned around and cursed at himself. In his haste, he hadn't even thought about warning the girls of the night's events. Kurt glanced at the time and winced. He only had two minutes to spare.

 “To make a long story short, I’m going home ... there has been ... sorry to be so blunt, but I have to catch a plane, so… there was an accident. I don't know exactly what's happened, but Finn...”

 “FINN?” Rachel's shout interrupted him in the middle of his sentence. As a matter of fact, he should have seen it coming. Rachel tended to react with a lot of emotions in everyday life situations and here it was a shock so her reaction was amplified.

 “Shut up, Berry, let him talk.”Santana’s voice resonated as she entered the room from the adjoining one. She was rubbing her eyes with the back of her hands - looking rather tired, but still as fierce as ever.

 “Thank you, Santana, I don't know what happened, apparently, he was knocked over by a car. It was bad and when I spoke to dad, Finn was on the way to the operation room. I'm sorry, but I have to go or else I'll miss my plane. I'll call you as soon as I have news, promise.”

 And then he left.

 Four hours later, when his plane landed at Columbus airport his brother had been declared dead.

The following days were blurred. He remembered helping Carole to take charge of the arrangements, he remembered seeing their friends, he remembered tears - lots of tears, he remembered Blaine being there to support him.

He barely remembered going to the airport and taking a plane to go back to his life as a New Yorker. It wasn’t easy to pretend that someone was missing, and it was damn near unfathomable to imagine that this special someone would remain forever missing. Here, in NYC, there were almost no memories of Finn, do to the fact that his brother only came to visit once. One talk, and a departure hidden in the dark, and nothing.

His plane landed late in the night. Getting inside the loft was strange. When he entered, Santana and Rachel were already asleep. To be honest, he was kind of relieved. He was tired and didn't feel up to talking to any of them tonight. He was exhausted and only wanted one thing: sleep. To sleep for as long as his body would let him. As silently as possible he put his belongings in his room and headed for the bathroom. He was too tired to take a shower, so he just did a kitty wash before falling in his bed.

_White._

_Everything was white, so much that it hurt his eyes. The walls were white, the ceiling, the few pieces of furniture were also white. He noticed a door in the back and it was white too._

_The place reminded him of something, but he was unable to say what. He had already been there. The lack of noise was horrible, it was deafening and he hated it._

“ _Kurt! Is that's you?”_

_That voice, he recognized that voice, Kurt blinked, pushing the incoming the tears away. Finn. It was Finn. He began to search for him. His brother was here somewhere and he had to find him, to see him._

_And then, he remembered. He truly had come here once, the night Finn died. Suddenly, he was not so sure of wanting to find his brother. What if was in the same state as the first time around? Covered in blood… Motionless, he tried to decide what to do._

“ _KURT? Tell me that it's you ... I don't want to be alone anymore ... But, but if you are there ... does it mean that you are dead too? What's happened to you?”_

_There were so many emotions in these sentences that it hurt Kurt to hear them. It was a mix of angst, relief and strangely of weariness. How could someone dead be tired? It did not really matter, the week he had just experienced he wanted to see Finn. No, he needed to see Finn., even if it was only a dream _ because it could not be anything else. His brother was dead._

_So, he finally turned in the direction of the voice and slowly brought his eyes up to him and sighed._

_No blood._

_Only Finn._

_Finn was exactly as Kurt remembered him. All things considered, it was logical. The last time they saw each other, wasn't that long ago. They’d talked on Skype two days before the accident, but it was still strange for Kurt to see him._

_He was dressed exactly like he had always been: blue jean, one of the awful polo shirts, which Kurt hid at least once a week last year when they were both still living at home,, and barefoot. His position on the sofa was weird. Kurt was used to see him completely slump on it, while now his posture was stiff, and he was sitting very straight._

“ _Hi Finn.”_

_As soon as Kurt talked, he noticed that Finn was relaxing slightly, only to tense up again a second later._

 “ _Why are you here? Did something...”_

“ _No, I am alive, I am just … dreaming, I think?”_

_He stared at Finn. The boy frowned, most probably in deep thoughts, and he looked around. Kurt did the same, but nothing had changed since he arrived, it was just as white, just as cold._

“ _Do you think it’s paradise or hell? To me, it looks like neither.”_

_Seeing Finn’s puzzled expression, Kurt burst out laughing before going closer to the couch and sitting. “Finn, you are talking to me! I don't know the first thing about religion.” He glanced around him once again and added “To me, it looks like a waiting room.”_

_The two brothers exchanged a funny glance and laughed._

Waking up was not easy. The clock rang once, and it had to ring ten minutes later, before Kurt managed to sit up in bed. It was not his usual wake-up-call, but nothing was as it used to be, ever since the day Finn died.

Kurt frowned, waiting for the pang which often followed, but it didn't come. Instead, he was assailed with flashes of incongruous' images. Images of an event that never happened and a place he never went. However, he didn't have time to dwell at length on it, since someone knocked at the door of his room. He smiled briefly and told Rachel to come in and join him. He did not have to ask to figure out who was on the other side. Santana never took the time to knock, she just came in.

“Hey, Rachel.” She smiled, the saddest smile to ever cross her face, and laid next to him on the bed.

“Do you feel okay?”

She shook her head. She had always been so loud, so bright that it was awfully strange to be facing a mute Rachel.

“Rachel, talk to me. I know it's hard for you, but you know it's hard for all of us ... And, Finn would not have wanted you to close yourself off like this.”

“But...”

“No ‘buts’, Rachel.” Kurt said and gave her a stern, but loving look.“So, tell me, how are the Funny Girl rehearsals going?”

And for the first time since she came in his room, her smile was bright. “Great, it's even better than I would have ever imagined, Kurt!”

She started talking about everything he missed while his stay in Lima. Then, they stood up, and began making breakfast and Rachel talked all that time. He had not been gone for a very long time, but as he listened to her it felt like months.

As awful as it may seem, getting his life back on track was not that hard.

He missed Finn a lot, but his brother had not been a key part of his New York life. Kurt shared his time between NYADA and working at the Spotlight Diner with Rachel and Santana. All while finding time to talk to his dad and Carole without forgetting Blaine, his fiancé. Their engagement was two months old, but it was still weird for him to think about Blaine as his fiancé. Something he wouldn't dare to admit it to anyone. Well, hopefully he’ll get used to it, soon.

The strangest part of his life was night times. Not that he experimented with the wild New York night life. Santana often made fun of him and his new habit of going to bed early.

However, how could he not? Indeed, ever since Finn died, he’d dreamt of him. He couldn't always remember the dream itself but the one thing he was sure of was all the conversations they had. He’d never used to talk that much with Finn. In the dreams, though, they were always in the same room, a place Kurt could have sworn he had never been before, and they would talk about various things. Sometimes they wouldn’t say anything; Kurt would just enjoy Finn's presence. It wasn’t real, but it felt good; it was as if he hadn’t really lost his brother.

The days flew, getting mixed up together until Mr. Shuester phoned them, asking for the three of them to come to Lima for a memorial in Finn's honor.

Santana and he did not hesitate a second before accepting, while Rachel thought about it before refusing, saying she did not feel ready for that yet.

The journey to Lima seemed longer than usual, and walking in his hometown felt strange. First, because it did not feel like home, and then most of the places he went to held memories. He did not realize he had so many memories with Finn here. When they were both living in Lima, it did not seem as if they’d spent that much time together and yet...

Being at home was harsh, as he had expected it. Being around Carole or his dad was hard too, same could be said about McKinley, but he also felt the pain walking on the streets, or in the park near the new house, or the mall.

There was also that stupid street where Finn threw up one night and Kurt had to come and get him at Puck's because he was too drunk to drive. It was as if every place here held a piece of their relationship and it hurt, to the point that he did not know how Carole and his dad could bear it.

His talk with Principal Sylvester was horrible. He could not believe someone had ripped up the tree she had planted in Finn’s memory in the schoolyard. He had to give her money to buy another one. He did not care about the money, he would give her all the money she needed for that tree to be there but he was not able to understand why someone would do that.

It felt like someone had damaged Finn’s tomb and it hurt, hard. He did not say a word about it to his dad or Carole. They both went to the small ceremony that had been done when it was planted, although Carole had hesitated a long moment before going.

At the end, the hope was to find some kind of closure the funeral did not provide. Mercedes, Santana, Mike, Puck and he were mixed up with the new glee club, Mr and Mrs Shuester (damn it was weird to call Miss Pillsbury that!), and Coach Beiste.

Becky had come, too. She said words about Finn, some were kind, but most were tactless things she must have learned by spending so much time near Coach Sylvester (who did not come).

He would be unable to repeat what had been said, but it was nice to be here, around people who knew his brother like he did not. The one thing he remembered was Puck frowning face and that Marley girl’s tears.

That night, he went into Finn’s bedroom with his father and step-mom. Carole wanted to do something he was not sure any of them was ready for: cleaning out Finn's belongings and putting them away. It was hard, even harder than he thought it would be.

It was as if every piece of clothes or furniture held a memory one of them was not ready to get rid of. The lamp, the jacket...

That night he slept with Finn’s letterman jacket. It still smelled like him and it was nice. That night he dreamed of him, of the first time Finn came to glee club. The dream made Kurt remember what he had been thinking that first time.

He’d been happy to have a new member, but also a bit dubious. What could the captain of the Football team be doing here, among them glee club losers? At the time it was a logic question, but now he felt as if he had been insulting his brother. So when he opened his eyes he was crushed by a sense of sadness. It took him some time but he managed to get up.

As he was about to leave to head for McKinley where he would meet his friends to sing and remember Finn, his eyes fell on the football jacket. Without a second thought he took it and put it on.

 

Five hours later…

He could not believe it. Kurt closed his eyes and remembered the events of the day.

How could Puck dare to do that? First the lying, and then that... those robberies!

He was around the dumpster the football team used to throw him in when he first saw Puck that day.

Wasn't it strange that even dumpsters held memories of his time with brother? He was looking at all the other losers, writing on it with the head full of bittersweet memory when Finn's best friend arrived.

Puck and he never had a very good relationship.

Of course, they shared some activities, lessons and friends, but they never really got along that well. Maybe they were too different, or their past was too hard to be overcome. If Kurt was being honest with himself they never really tried.

Anyway, he was watching the graffitist when the boy arrived. As soon as Puck opened his mouth, Kurt wanted him to shut it. He remembered looking at him from the corner of his eyes and sighing before commenting.

“You are exhausting. You really don't recognize this dumpster?”

Kurt knew the tone was not very welcoming, but at that moment he did not care. He was angry to see Puck here.

If Finn used to be as nice as possible in the situation, that had not been Puck's case.

The words he used to say, the strength he put into the action... and the never happening excuse did not help his case either.

He noticed a smile on Puck face, a small one but a smile nevertheless just before he said, “Oh yeah…”

Kurt frowned up before adding, “As soon as Finn joined the glee club become a pariah, a loser and all... it all became okay.”

Just like he told Carole the previous night, Finn was like superman. He tightened the jacket around him and pulled away from Puck. He did not get to go far as the other boy reached for his arm to stop him.

“Hey, leave the jacket. Seriously, I'll pay you for it. I'm sure you have a room full of mementos. I've got nothing to remember him by.”

Puck’s voice was like nothing Kurt ever heard before. It was a strange mix between begging and demanding… and Kurt did not like it one bit. How dare he try to buy it? That jacket was special. Kurt stepped aside and turned around to face the other boy and spat his answer. “Well, you can't have this!”

Kurt tried to set out again but Puck prevented him.

“That jacket is reserved for people who've earned it. I'm not gonna let you bedazzle it with glitter and wear it like some Project Runway shawl.”

Those words brought memories back, not good one. Kurt felt as if he was back in sophomore years, except he was not anymore. He was not afraid of Puck like he used to be. He was not as small, as frail, so he got closer to the other boy and said with as much venom as possible, ”What are you gonna do? Beat me up and take it from me? Throw me in the dumpster? You can't have it!”

And this time he left without being stopped.

Kurt could not believe it. How Puck could still insult him after all this time? Shaking his head, he moved toward the glee club's classroom to meet up with Blaine and Sam. Being with his fiancé would help him to calm himself. He refused to be angry now. It was supposed to be a time for remembering Finn, not for fighting.

That afternoon Santana sang and it was lovely. Finn would have liked it ... at least until she ran away yelling hysterically.

The discussion they shared in the auditorium gave him a nice feeling. Santana’s intentions had been good even if she hadn't been able to go through with her ideas. Because of this, offering her the jacket was not too painful. She needed it, just as he had needed it the night before.

As he listened to Puck's song, Kurt wondered if his resentment against the boy had not clouded his judgment. Maybe Puck was the one who needed it the most. Kurt was starting to feel guilty when Santana came through the door at breakneck speed, clearly upset.

She started yelling, “Where is it, Puckerman?”

Kurt didn’t have the time to understand what she meant, before Puck answered, “It's just a tree. I told Beiste I’d put it back!”

Puck was the one who’d stolen the tree? Finn’s tree? But why? Why would he do such a thing? But Kurt realized he was wrong, because Santana was not talking about the tree, and in some ways this made it worse in his eyes.

“Not the tree, Finn's jacket! I went to a lay down in the nurse’s office. I hung it up on the coat rack near the door for my grief siesta and when I woke up, it was gone. I know you took it. We all know you took it!”

Santana carried on getting madder with each word.

Kurt glanced around him and everyone in the room seemed disappointed and offended. The only exception was Puck who looked ... puzzled… and kind of hurt.

Hands held up in defense, he insisted, “I didn't take Finn's jacket!”

Kurt remained silent, only watching the scene taking place in front of him, as if it was played on a TV. Puck's words reflected the expression of his face.

“If we made a list of suspects, you would probably be the only one on it,” Artie said in a very suspicious tone.

Santana was about to revive her accusations when Mr. Shuester cut her off. “Enough! Please. No fighting this week.”

It worked; the room went calm so fast that he could even have heard a pin drop. Santana turned toward Puck one last time and, threatening him with her finger, screamed: “ _No me gusta!”_

But before she could pick up again, Mr. Shue stopped her with one single word: “Santana.” This time, she left. One by one, the others followed her, and soon only Puck, Mr. Shue and he were left in the classroom.

Kurt took a few seconds to think about it, then walked toward Puck, stopping about a pace from him and very calmly he said: “Seriously, Puck, you can keep it tonight, but I want it back tomorrow. It's Santana's now.” He noticed that Puck was about to open his mouth, most probably to deny it once more, but Kurt turned and left before he had the chance to say a word.

How could Puck have dared to steal Finn’s jacket? And worst, how could he keep on denying it when everybody knew he had done it. First, because his reputation spoke for him, but mostly because he was the only one except for Kurt himself to have shown any interest in the jacket.

The day had been very emotional. So that night, after a light dinner with his dad and a very silent Carole, he was relieved to head for his room. He barely hesitated a few seconds before going back to make himself some hot milk.

Once the mug ready he stared at it then, he took it in a trembling hand. Stupid. He had drunk hot milk since Finn's death, but having it in this house was harder than having one at home, in New York.

Slowly, he climbed up the stairs, and took a short break in front of what used to be Finn's room before turning toward his. There he sat on the bed, his back leaned on the headboard and, eyes closed, started to sip. His head was full of pictures and scenes from the past.

 

“ _Dude! You will never guess what happened today,” Finn said while coming into Kurt's room like a shot._

“ _Hmm ... good or bad?”_

“ _I’m not sure. To me it was fun, but I’m not sure Brittany and Santana enjoyed it much.”_

“ _I give up.”_

“ _Hey that's not cool, you didn’t even try! But, okay, I’ll tell you, but that’s because I’m nice like that.”_

_Finn was snickering to himself, so Kurt, kind of fed up with the interruption of his facial routine, demanded, “Well?”_

“ _Sorry, well they were in the hallway, and you know how their lockers are next to each other, right?”_

“ _So?”_

“ _They were talking and shit, when they opened their lockers ... And guess what fell out?”_

_Kurt watched his brother whose lips were twitching and gave it a try. “I don't know ... some frogs?”_

_Finn eyes went wild and he burst out laughing. “NO! But I admit, that would have been reeaally funny! It was worse than that ... Dirt!”_

_This time it was Kurt's turn to open his eyes. “That’s awful, disgusting, how could you say it was funny?!”_

“ _I know that part isn’t funny, but you should have seen their faces, they were like ... and then Brittany said all puzzled, “I don't even remember putting that in there!”_

 

Then the room changed. Kurt could feel the atmosphere was different, but he didn’t dare open his eyes, a bit scared of what he would see. _“You know it's true.”_

 

_Finn. This time he opened his eyes. The white wall, the white sofa, the white room. He knew where he was. He knew this place; when he turned his head he saw his brother. He was exactly the same as the last time he’d seen him, except that he had his jacket on. The jacket which had been the source of today's conflict._

_And, he looked more relaxed, as if he was getting used to being in that strange place, out of any reality or substance._

“ _What are you talking about?”_

“ _The jacket, Puck did not take it. He was telling the truth.”_

_Kurt raised an eyebrow and asked, “Really? Then who did it?”_

“ _Mr. Shue.”_

_Kurt stared at Finn, trying to make sure he’d heard right. “Excuse me, but did you just say...”_

“ _Mr. Shue, yes.”_

“ _But, why? I don't understand. Are you sure you are not mistaken?”_

_Finn shook his head “Nah, I saw him doing it, and I saw him again later when he took it from his purse...”_

“ _Finn, I already told you I don't know how many times, that Mr. Shue doesn't have a purse, it's a bag, just a bag.”_

“ _Whatever, it was in his BAG and he was crying. I swear that Puck is innocent.”_

_Kurt shrugged, not completely convinced, but decided to let it go. After all, he was with Finn and even if it was only a dream, it was still nice._

“ _So, that's how you spend your time here? You spy on us?” Kurt was teasing, although he knew there was a part of truth in his words._

“ _It's not as if I have a lot of things to do, you know? If I'm not watching that real life TV, I would be bored to death!”_

_Kurt froze and Finn giggled (it must be a creation of his tired brain since he’d never heard the real Finn giggle) and added, “Just saying, since you know... I am already dead.”_

“ _Yes, I know.”_

_They remained there for what seemed like hours, then Finn broke the silence. “Can you do me a favor?”_

 “ _Of course.” How could he have said "no" to anything his brother could ask for him? Even in his dreams?_

“ _Can you ask mum to take good care of the glee club for me?”_

“ _Take care...?”_

“ _Okay, not like going to the lessons or anything; just make sure everything is ready for Nationals. You know how Mr. Shue is with organization.”_

“ _I will try, but I make no promises.”_

“ _Trying is good enough, thanks, bro.”_

He never got the opportunity to talk to Carole about his dreams. And, to be honest, he did not feel up to do it. She was in so much pain. Most of the time it already seemed as if she was carrying the weight of the world on her shoulders; he did not want to speak about that. So when his time in Lima ended, he just went back to New York, hoping to find some comfort in his new life, in his new routine.

And it worked. After a few weeks, he stopped dreaming about Finn, and it was half an emotional release, half a deception. As strange as those dreams could have been, it was also nice to be able to see him again.

_After nearly three weeks of dreams without Finn, he went to bed and then he was back in the white room. This time, he did not hesitate nor wait before looking around for Finn._

_Less than ten seconds later, he noticed him. For once he wasn't on the couch; he was standing two feet behind the only door of the room. Kurt knew he did not notice his arrival because he had not moved._

_Frowning, Kurt tried to understand what he was doing, when suddenly the penny dropped. He was attempting to reach the handle. Kurt's heart stopped beating. He had a feeling, a bad one. If Finn opened that door, something terrible was going to happen. What? He could not tell ... So he did the only thing he could think of: he spoke._

“ _Hey, Finn, long time no see!”_

_His brother jumped, his arm fell back and Kurt's heart started beating again. He watched Finn as he turned around and looked at him with a huge grin on his face. Kurt smiled back and they embraced each other. It was good to feel Finn's arms around him again._

“ _Hey, Kurt! Why did you stop coming to see me? I've missed you.”_

“ _I missed you, too, so much.” And they remained like that for what seemed like years, then they stepped aside, went to the sofa and sat._

_Kurt took a moment to observe the room. He had been wrong; the room was not the same as it was. In truth, it was not very different. It was still as white, at least most of the room was. The only difference was the door Finn was about to open when Kurt arrived._

_The change was not huge, but the color shifted a bit. The white became some kind of lovely eggshell shade. As his brother had always been kind of color blind, Kurt was pretty sure he was the only one who noticed the difference._

“ _I always thought that to get a tattoo of your dead boyfriend's name was kind of lame.”_

_To say Kurt was puzzled by such a statement would be an understatement. He had absolutely no clue about where this discussion was going._

“ _Okay? Since as far as I know, Blaine is not dead, it should not be a problem, but thanks for… sharing?”_

“ _Dude! I know that! I wasn’t talking about you!”_

“ _Well, try to be clearer because I still don't know where all that is coming from.”_

“ _It's about Rachel, bro!”_

“ _You did not even say her name! How should I have guessed? So, what about her?"_

“ _Try at least to follow, would you? You have to discourage her from that ridiculous tattoo idea! Or at least make her change her mind about putting my name; that's a stupid idea and... Je... uh, someone wouldn't like it in the future.”_

_Kurt stared at Finn, unsure of the answer he should give him. “Okay, but you know the chances of Rachel Berry putting a tattoo on her skin are kind of low. I think it's forbidden by religion or something.”_

_Kurt sensed his brother shifting next to him and turned his head to face him. Finn was looking at Kurt as if he was an idiot, and Kurt did not like it at all. “Wha_ _t? That's true!”_

“ _Whatever, dude; promise me you won't let her do it. And, please do it. Not like you did with mom.”_

_Kurt felt uncomfortable, then he remembered. “I did not make any promises with that one.”_

_Finn frowned, but nodded. “Okay, but please promise me now.”_

_As Kurt did not believe Rachel would ever want to do such a silly thing he made the promise. “I promise that I won't let her tattoo your name anywhere. Now, if she can't tattoo that, do you have any suggestions?”_

_Finn nibbled his lower lip, like he usually did when he was thinking hard, and then his whole face lit up. “A star, a golden star!”_

“ _Finn! I worked so hard to make her lose that golden star habit, don't you have another suggestion?”_

“ _No. tell her it would be just like I told her at Christmas, in senior year.”_

“ _What are you talking about?”_

“ _It's between Rachel and me; please, just tell her?”_

“ _Okay, I promise. Anything else?”_

“ _Hmm ... just remember, alcohol and tattoo don't mix well, so be careful.”_

 

Watching TV while eating popcorn and ice cream was boring, but Kurt unable to switch it off. Instead, he went from the animal show with the news.

“I just had the most incredible experience of my life!

Kurt turned his head at the sound of Rachel’s voice. It was exactly the push he needed since he turned off the TV without a second thought. Rachel was still speaking.

Kurt exclaimed, “Oh my god, you cut your hair!”

The young woman closed the door and slowly walk toward him before answering. “I was feeling stuck.”

Then, to his huge relief, she removed a wig, and he finally breathed.

“You know Rupert is amazing, but he's got such a specific view on everything and it's not like I don't trust his vision but I feel like he needs to rebel a little bit to have more room to play.” When she finished her tirade she was sitting beside him on the couch.

“So he doesn't know you are wearing a wig?” Kurt asked casually with a faint smile.

“Not at first, but I told him after the rehearsal. He really loved it and I'm gonna wear it in the show,” she finished while putting the wig in her bag.

“What if he got mad because you lie to him? Or saw that you cut you hair and sent you packing?” Kurt could not help but ask. He did not understand how she could have put everything in question just like that.

She stopped taking care of her clothes and removing the pins on her hair to face him “Okay, you know what, Kurt, you've become boring. You go to class, and then you come home, and you eat all this food and watch your stories, and you Skype with Blaine, and it's not even sexy Skyping. I know this because you just go to sleep. Same thing, every day.

Offended, Kurt replied, “I change up my afternoon smoothie occasionally.” It was weak, even to his own ears, so he took a huge spoon of ice cream.

“You know it felt so good taking a risk with that wig... it's like... I felt so alive! And you know what? I could have messed up everything but I didn't care! It was like I just wanted to risk it all!”

A piece of popcorn, and another one, then he asked, “What's going on with you?”

She answered without stopping to fight with her hair. “You remember in high school when everything looked so urgent? Like, if we did not go for it we would just lose our chance forever?”

She won her fight and stared at him as he said, “It was very stressful.” And it was true. Why couldn't they just enjoy some peace?

“Well, I wanna feel that way again”

The silence following her words gave him time to think and he realized what was happening. He swallowed his popcorn and asked her, “Does this have something to do with Finn?”

Watching her freeze was the answer he needed, but nevertheless she explained her way of thinking. “You know, part of my grieving process is diving headfirst into life so maybe…”

Her words turned in his head and somehow he had a feeling she was right. “Alright, Rachel Berry, you got me. Let's go out and do something crazy! What do you have in mind?”

She offered him a bright smile, something he had not seen in a long time, and clapping her hands she exclaimed, “Small potatoes and why don't we break out the bottle of limoncello you have been saving up?”

Her excitement was slowly getting to him. “What for?"

She did not take a second before smiling and answering, “Anesthesia.”

“Okay... I did not see that one coming. And what's the anesthesia for?”

“Get ready and I will tell you on the way, I know exactly where we have to go.”

Rachel took her coat and purse while Kurt reached for the bottle hidden in one of the cupboards in the kitchen, a jacket and his wallet. Then, he offered his arm to his best friend and arm-in arm they went out.

At first, Rachel did not give him any indications about where she was leading him. She drank straight from the bottle before passing it to him. He glanced at her, then he heard, “Kurt you've become boring.” And deep inside of him he realized she was right, so he drank

It burned his throat, the taste of lemon was kind of strong but it was better than a lot of the other alcohol things he’d tried before. He took another swig before giving the bottle back to her.

 The limoncello went from one to the other a few times before Rachel put it in her bag. They were walking across the sidewalk, humming any songs coming to their minds when suddenly Kurt remembered he still had no clue about the place they were heading.

 “Hey, Rachel, tell me now what crazy thing we are about to do?”

“A tattoo!”

That really was a crazy idea! He stopped walking abruptly, eyes wide open, and she did the same, stumbling a little. “You should have told me sooner, now I have to find what I want in nearly no time!” Kurt finished his sentence with a pout; a ridiculous pout he was sure of it. “Hey do you know what you are gonna make?”

Rachel began walking again, pulling on his arm. He followed her in deep thought. After a few seconds, he realized she did not answer him. So, he pressed the topic.

“Rachel? Tell me, tell me, tell me...” and he kept on repeating this annoying sentence hoping she would tell him just to shut him up. She didn't have to do it. He cut himself off instead, when something came to his mind.

 

“ _I promise I won't let her tattoo your name.”_

 

To whom did he promise that?

Finn.

He’d promised it to Finn. When? Why? How? He didn’t have the answer to any of those questions at that moment, but he remembered that promise and Finn's grin after he made it.

Frowning, he attempted to find a way to explain that to her without being too straight. Then, an idea crossed his mind. Not any idea: a brilliant idea. He closed his eyes, smiled and said: “You know I remember talking about tattoos with Finn once.”

“Really, he never told me he wanted to have one...”

“I didn't say that he wanted one. We were...” A flash of the two of them sitting on a couch, crossed Kurt's mind, so he said it, even if he did not remember where that white couch came from. “Sitting on a couch and he started talking about finding some website while web surfing... something called worst tattoos ever. He laughed a lot, talking about some of the tattoos he saw.”

“What kind of tattoo?”

“Let me think about it... there were a Care Bears, holding balloon letters saying asshole, or a toaster, even a woman with tiger stripe all over her body. People are so strange…”

“I can reassure you that I don't envisage doing any of those.”

 “Me, neither. Finn was very talkative on that topic, accurate, too.”

 “Oh, what else did he tell you?”

“He said something about tattooing the name of the people you love.”

Kurt noticed that her attention was getting aroused, but he didn't go into more details, waiting for her to ask.

“He did? And what did he think about that?”

“Well, he did not have a lot of positive words about it. If the truth was told, he was very against it. He said something like “Why do people would carve names in their skin? If the people are alive, better use real words and if they are dead, well that's just ridiculous, they won't see it. If I were to have a tattoo, it would be something meaningful, or something kind of secret. Not show off.”

She froze in the middle of the sidewalk, nibbling her lips. “Do you think he is right?”

Kurt took a moment to think back to what he just said in his brother’s name and nodded. “Maybe.”

They stayed quiet and motionless in the middle of the sidewalk for two long minutes. People were brushing by them, but they did not really notice, too lost in their thoughts.

Finn's voice kept on coming to him, but the fog in his head deafened it. He tried to focus, and he was lucky enough to perceive the words even if he did not understand them. One thing was sure – it must be part of the same conversation. He glanced at Rachel; she was not so excited anymore. She was duller. That's when he realized something.

He might not be able to understand his brother's words, but she might.

Therefore he added. “I remember him saying something about a golden star? Because it was a perfect mix of you and him. I never understood what it meant.” He observed her as he talked, and as soon as he finished his sentence, all trace of dullness was gone from her face. She looked completely amazing. “But you do, don't you?”

And she nodded enthusiastically, but without explaining anything. So he pressed her to. “Well, will you give me the key to this mystery, or should I stay in the dark?” He could literally see her weigh the pros and cons before she started speaking

“Do you remember when Finn didn’t know what to get me for Christmas?”

Kurt frowned, thinking as hard as he could before asking, “Sophomore year, right? When you gave him a list of very expensive presents to buy you?” Kurt teased her and she blushed, but nodded nevertheless.

“I never told you what he gave me at the end, did I?”

Kurt shook his head. “No, I always thought he ended up not getting you anything, but apparently I was wrong. So what did he do?”

He observed his friend, as she closed her eyes and smiled as if she truly was reliving the scene.

“A star.”

“Sorry, did I hear you right? There is up there an actual star named Rachel Berry?"

Eyes still closed she shook her head. “No, but that's what I thought, too. I remembered exactly what he told me. He said...” She wet her lips and nibbled the bottom one. She was clearly overcome by emotion; to help her he took her hand in his and squeezed it.

“He said: ‘I thought about it, but then I named it Finn Hudson, because there is already a star called Rachel Berry and she's right here on Earth... and she's brighter than any of those stars up there. So I wanted to make sure that whenever she feels lonely, she can look up at the sky and no matter where I am, she can know that I'm looking down on her.’

“And you know what, Kurt? I was happy for my gift, but now that he is not here anymore, I am happier. And he was right, as so he often was. Getting a golden star tattoo is a beautiful idea. It's the perfect mix of him and me. Thanks for reminding me. Still ready?”

The pep talk worked better than he imagined. As soon as she finished her sentence, she took her hand out of his, grabbed his forearm and pulled him toward the tattoo parlor, all without waiting for his answer.

 

“ _Alcohol and ink do not go well together.”_ Finn's voice echo in his mind, but he pushed it away: he was not **that** drunk.

 “Let's do it, Miss Berry!”

 

 “‘ _It's gets better’”  
_

  _Kurt turned around and stared at his brother puzzled. “What?”_

_Finn laughed, “Your tattoo, ‘It's gets better’?”_

_Kurt rolled his shoulder and since it did not hurt he said, “It stopped hurting so it must.”_

“ _Great, but it's not what I meant. Get a good look at it yet?”_

_Startled, Kurt remained motionless. “What are you talking about?”_

_Finn pointed to a mirror Kurt never noticed before and, without another word, Kurt stood up and went to the mirror. He turned around and indeed he read “ It's gets better”_

_Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh no, no..._

 

Kurt woke with a start and immediately he muttered, “A dream, it was just a horrible dream, a nightmare!” Then he felt it, the pain on his shoulder blade.

“No, no, no, NO, NO!”

“Kurt? Are you okay?”

“Rachel? Can you come here, please?” He hated when his voice was so high. His friend joined him on his bed.

“Are you sick? Do you need anything?”

“No, just, tell me I am wrong, because it cannot be true!”

“Kurt, you have to be clearer, I don't know what you are talking about,” Rachel exclaimed.

“My tattoo! Tell me what it says...” And he lowered his shirt to let her read. The reaction was not long in coming.

“Oh, my... I'm so sorry, Kurt. The tattoo artist misspelled it.”  
 

The rest of the day was kind of erratic; he went back to the tattoo parlor, only to realize he was the guilty one.  Indeed, Kurt had written the famous phrase wrong on the paper he’d given to the tattoo artist. After some negotiation with the man, Louis, he somehow ended up with 'It's got Bette Midler' instead.

Something that Rachel said was absolutely “genius" and "makes absolutely no sense” and a tongue pierced. Finn had been right – alcohol and ink do not mix. His day had been long, but he was happy with his conclusion and when he went to bed that night, he saw Finn; as it appeared to be the case more often than not, his bother looked happy for him. They did not share any special talk that night, but it felt just right to be together.

Slowly, Kurt was getting used to dreaming about Finn. He became a good thing. Thinking of it, it felt a bit like having the Riddle journal that Ginny Weasley had during Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets.

Well, except that Finn was not evil, and that he somehow knew things before they happened. The tricky part was that his brother refused to tell him exactly what will happen; it was mostly just strange advice, like he did with the tattoo.

And regardless of the weirdness of those visits, Kurt liked them. Going to bed early was not such a chore; on the contrary. It might be a coincidence, but Kurt realised Finn visited him more often when he went to bed early. So he did it more often, so often that he heard Rachel and Santana talking about him once.

They were wondering how to bring him out of his depression or, as Santana had said, “Damn, we have to kick Lady Hummel's butt. It hurt my eyes to watch him down like that. It’s depressing me!”

They were worried, but he could help himself. If going to bed early was a means to spending some time with Finn, he would. He couldn't tell them the genuine reason, but deep down, he knew they would behave like him, Rachel just to see Finn, and Santana to have some insight into the future (for Finn too, not that she would admit it.)

It might not be healthy for him, but it helped him to feel good about himself. After the tattoo episode, or as Finn called it ‘Tattoogate’, their discussions were mostly peaceful. Finn did not have anything special to ask him, or tell him. They just spent time together in the white room. Some nights, a piece of furniture would appear, like a hammock, or swings and the monkey bars.

Kurt often wondered if he was the one who made them turn up in the room or if it was Finn, but he had no way to know and Finn refused to enlighten him. Those nights, instead of drawing close together on the couch, they would have fun and play like little children. They both got turns to try a handstand on the monkey bars, something neither one would have tried in reality, but what could bump into them here, in that dream state?

 Then, something changed.

_The childish part of the dream disappeared. Kurt was back in the cold room while Finn paced back and forth. The first night passed, leaving Kurt puzzled. He did not know what to do and he woke up more tired than he had in a long while._

_Staring at his brother while he paced in an empty room for hours was exhausting. Though it allowed him to notice the mirror's disappearance, as well as change in color of the door again. This time it was flesh-colored. Kurt stared at it for such a long time that he noticed the colors lightly changing during the night. It was strange, and added to Finn’s weird behavior, it gave him the creeps._

_After two nights with the same pattern, he decided to step in._

“ _Finn, stop it!”_

_But it was as if his words never got through to him. “FINN! Stop it! I can’t stand it anymore! What's the matter?”_

_This time, his brother froze in mid-step. Then, he slowly set it down and turned around, all without making eye contact with Kurt._

“ _Finn?”_

_Since Finn did not seem disposed to move, Kurt stood up and set his hand on his brother's sleeve. He felt it shiver under the light shirt he was wearing. “Hey, what's going on with you? Can I help you? Tell me... please?”_

_And as if it was what he had been waiting for, Finn came out of the trance he had been in. He raised his head and grinned. It was the smile that used to turn Kurt's legs to jelly when he used to have a crush on him. Pushing this memory to the back of his mind, he pushed the question._

_Finn nodded and steered them toward the sofa. When they were both settled, Finn finally began speaking._

“ _It's mom and Puck.”_

_Kurt did not see that one coming. Finn had not talked about either Carole or Puck in a while. However, he should have seen it coming._

“ _Carole? What about Carole?” Last time Kurt talked with his dad, she seemed to be doing as well as possible given the circumstances._

“ _She’s not doing so good.”_

_Kurt did not want to talk about that. He knew where that was leading and he really did not want to speak about the reason she was sad. He hated thinking about Finn's death. He detested it in real life, and couldn't bear the thought of talking about it with Finn himself. It felt like putting salt on a wound, but from Finn's expression, he had no means to escape it._

“ _It's normal, isn't it? She ... she doesn't have you anymore. She needs time. It's barely been two months.”_

_Finn sighed heavily. “I know, but she needs...”_

“ _What does she need? Have you seen her? Like you always do to me? Maybe it would help her?”_

_Kurt did not dream about Finn every night. He always wondered where his brother went when he was not with him. Apparently, not with his mother._

“ _No, I can't do that. I tried, at first, but she... it's not like with you or with ... Let's say it's not the same. She just cries, and it hurt.”_

_Kurt took Finn in his arms and squeezed him close. “Is there anything I can do?”_

_As soon as he said it, Kurt regretted it. Not because he did not want to help her to get better, only because he did not know if he could. Still, it was too late, the words were out and it was far too late to get them back, since Finn had moved away and shouted with a grin… “YES! I'm pretty sure I know what could help her…”_

“ _You do?” That was surprising, because except time, Kurt had absolutely no hint of what could help his step-mom._

“ _Yes. I know the glee club had something on the way, if only she could just see it.”_

“ _Glee club? How come?" It was the truth: glee club used to get them to overcome hard times, but the music never had that kind of effect on Carole... Yes, she enjoyed it, like a lot of people, but nothing more._

“ _Yes, I can't tell you why, but I'm almost certain that if only she could go to Nationals, it would, but...”_

_Finn did not finish his sentence, shrugging instead._

_Kurt sat back on the couch and stared at Finn, frowning. After the excitement, he looked sad, kind of helpless, and Kurt did not like it one bit. So, he racked his mind for some idea._

Sadly, when he woke up, he still had none.

His day was not very good. Of course, he enjoyed his singing and dancing lessons, even if their dance mistress, Cassandra July, was still as hardcore as ever. No, it was worse because he had difficulties to focus on, other than Finn's demand.

When he arrived at Sportlight for his shift, he was more than ready for the day to reach its end. Alas, it was not to be; he had five hours to wait before getting home. He was sharing his shift with Rachel.

He used to love working either with her or Santana since, well, what could be better than working with your friends?

Now he could not stand being under Rachel’s stare. On a whole his life was not bad; to be honest, it was better than most and yet, every time Rachel laid her sad eyes on him, he had that unbearable urge to dive into a sea of sadness.

With Santana, it was different, perhaps because she did not have it in herself to feel sorry for him. On the contrary, he could see she only wanted to shake him and bring him back from his supposed depression. But whatever Santana might feel about him, it did not matter at the time since it wasn't her he had to face.

He got into the diner and forced a smile on his face, as ready as possible to face the five next hours.

He went into the changing room and just as he got out of it, he heard someone shouting his name.

“Kurt? Come here my boy.”

It was Latoya, the manager. She usually was around, but she never demanded to speak to them. She just oversaw and helped when it was necessary. Then, for one second, he was concerned. Had he done something wrong the previous day? He did not dwell on the question for long. Indeed, when he came closer he recognized there was something different.

He cut through the diner without losing his smile. The woman was just as massive, she was wearing her usual uniform and her dark hair was still contained in a low ponytail. He sized up her face, but her makeup was nonexistent as always... Then he knew: she was smiling. It was a beautiful vision; her smile brightened her whole being. He had worked here for nearly three months and he only realized now that he rarely saw it.

When Kurt finally joined her near the counter he felt a lot more relaxed. "Hello, Latoya, what can I do for you?”

“Kurt, this is Dani; she’s gonna be working here.”

Then Kurt noticed the woman beside her; long blond hair, brown Bambi eyes, and baby cheeks. She looked angelic, but then she lowered her eyes and smiled, and he changed his mind; she might be sweet, but what he saw now was a minx. Then, she said with a lovely voice: “Hello Kurt.”

The woman held out her hand and he shook it quickly. He had a sudden feeling that Dani was coming into his life to stay. As soon as he let go of her hand, he turned toward Latoya who smiled at him.

“Since Carly left, we’ve been hand short. Would you mind giving Dani a tour and explain how everything’s done? I have some phone calls to make.”

Kurt nodded and she carried on: “Dani, if you have any questions, do not hesitate to ask me.”

Once Dani nodded, Latoya headed toward her office. Kurt watched her absent-minded with a smile: he could have sworn she was sort of dancing.

“Do tell, Kurt, how long have you been working here?”

Dani's question brought him back to the present and he focused on her.

“About four months. The co-workers are mostly cool, as well as the patrons. It's a good place, as well, especially if you enjoy singing.”

As soon as the words left his mouth, Dani's face brightened. “I love singing! I use to be in a band. I was singing and playing guitar, it was neat. So how come it’s so great here for singers?”

He did not have the time to explain; the answer came by itself. The spotlight up, the music began to play and a voice started to sing.

_Ten years living in a paper bag_

_Feedback, baby, he's a flipped out cat_

_He's a platinum canary, drinkin' falstaff beer_

_Mercedes rule, and a rented lear_

_Bottom feeder insincere_

_Prophet lo-fi pioneer_

  _Sell the house and go to school_

  _Get a young girlfriend, daddy's jewel_

 

 Rachel, because it was she, was dancing around and singing with Matt the bartender, to the delight of all the patrons. Dani stared at her for a few minutes before turning Kurt's way.

“Okay, I see it now.”

Kurt smiled and started the tour. He took his time, explaining everything. When they finished more than one hour had run and Rachel was about to leave, to Kurt's relief. Dani followed him for a bit, before taking charge of her first tables. It was not her first time as a waitress, which was good since soon a swarm of tourists took the diner by storm.

They sang twice each and Dani was very good. She might not get as high as Rachel but near enough, and the emotion in her voice was rare. Their shift end at the same time and Kurt could not have been happier.

They went to the changing-room together and soon Santana and Machlan, their relief, arrived.

“Bye-bye, Dani, see you tomorrow,” he called as he headed for the door, but she blocked him before he could open it.

“Kurt, wait! I.... just a question.”

He lifted his eyebrow and waited. She looked a bit awkward. “Yes?”

“Hmm, the girl who just arrived...”

He was worn down, and he took him a moment to understand who she was talking about. “Santana?”

“Do you know her well?” He nodded, attempting to find out where it was going.

“She is very.... sexy, if you see what I mean…”

““Oh gosh, I do, but please, I don't want to talk about Santana's sexiness. As you must have guessed, talking about women that way is not my cup of tea.”

Dani laughed. “Got it, but I wonder: could I be her cup of tea?”

“Oh, I did not see that one coming. Well, you could be, but she has just been through a breakup. So, be nice to her. She might look fierce, but deep, very deep inside, she is kind.”

Dani smiled and said, “I take good note of it.” Then in the blink of an eye, she went away.

Kurt stayed motionless a minute before beginning to laugh.

“Lady Hummel? Have you finally flipped your lid?” Santana's voice made him laugh twice as hard and when he turned to face her, her nonplussed expression made things worse.

In the end, he managed to shake his head. “No, I'm great, never better.” Then he slipped between his friend and the doorway.. It was time to get home; he had a Skype meeting with Blaine in less than an hour.

Luckily, the subway was on time. He took advantage of the journey to think about what Finn had said that last time. His brother was worried about his mother and his best friend. Kurt has no clue what the matter was with Puck, and he did not know how to get Carole to go to a glee club meeting. Truthfully, despite what Finn said, Kurt was not sure he would be useful. Still, he was quick to give him the benefit of the doubt.

However, when he arrived at the loft, he was still far from discovering the solution to his problem.  He was still lost in his thought when he opened the door of the loft, so much that he did not notice Rachel on the couch and jumped when she called out.

“Hello, Kurt! We didn't have time to talk at work this afternoon. How are you? And who is the new girl? Is she nice?”

He went to put his jacket and bag on the coat rack near the door before speaking. “Hey, Rachel, how come you’re here? Don't you have a rehearsal tonight?”

He glanced at the time and as he still had a few minutes before his Skype date, he joined her.

“No, it was deferred to Friday. Now do tell me. Who is she?”

“Her name is Dani, she is nice, and funny. Oh and she sings beautifully. Well, you are working tomorrow, aren't you?”

“Yes, I have the lunch shift,” she answered with a wince. Kurt knew she did not enjoy lunch shift because people seldom asked for a song. It was mostly workers on break who just wanted to eat in peace. “Well, smile, you’ll meet Dani then. She arrives a bit before I do. I believe it's around 2 p.m. Now, if you would excuse me, I have a date in ten minutes and I want to make myself a bit more comfortable.”

She laughed. “Okay, say hi to Blaine!”

He started his computer and quickly took his pants off. Gosh, he loved being well dressed, but it was good to be home and relax.

The connection was on, and then:

“Hey, Kurt!”

The image wasn't perfect but seeing Blaine brought a smile on his lips. A smile that grew bigger when he noticed his fiancé was bare-chested. Such a lovely sight after a long day.

“Good evening, darling, nice view…”

“Hello, Kuuurt!” Two voices sang out from the background.

“Hi, Tina, Sam!” Raising an eyebrow, Kurt wondered why Blaine was half-naked around his friends. However when they both joined him on the bed, Kurt realized that Sam was also shirtless. Luckily, Tina was not. And her presence implied that – whatever was happening in there – was platonic.

Indeed, despite his brief bi-curious phase, Blaine was gay, totally gay. Since the discussion was clearly not going to be one-on-one with his boyfriend, Kurt decided to ask some precisions.

“So, what are you doing, guys?”

“Trying on our graduation gowns, and you know what? They are uglier than yours.”

“Oh, dear, they are bright violet?”

The three of them drew wry faces. It was kind of funny to see. “No. Even bright violet would not have been so bad,” Tina said.

"For you, maybe,” Sam answered while elbowing her.

“No ‘maybe’ in that! This color his horrible for all of us, except Unique; she would pull it off like no one.”

 “Unique, why not? Only, she’s not graduating this year, so who cares?”

The trio of them kept on talking as if Kurt was not there and he did not like it. Their Kurt-Blaine time was being siphoned by Blaine and Sam’s “bromance”. He cleared his throat and they all turned their attention on him.

“So the color?”

“Golden Yellow.”

“Like the pants I wore for my audition?”

“No, brighter, very flashy.”

“Can I see it?”

Sam jumped from the bed and came back a few second later, the robe in hand. The description wasn't quite right, it was more buttercup than golden.

“You are right, it's worse than ours. However, it could fit you, Blaine. You too, Tina, with your long, black hair. Sorry Sam, it's definitely the wrong color for you. But, smile, you will only have to wear it for two hours at the most.”

“Thanks, dude, really heartwarming.”

Kurt stuck his tongue out before laughing. “So, tell me about Glee club? When are you leaving for Los Angeles? Are you going to see Mercedes? Do you know what you are going to sing yet? ... No, forget about it: stupid question, it's far too early for that.”

“Hey! Take it back; we know and, even better, we have started to rehearse, darling!” Blaine exclaimed proudly.

Placing a hand on his chest to prove his fake shock, Kurt said “Sorry, no disrespect to Mr. Shue, but do you have a new teacher? That doesn't sound like him!” They burst out laughing and then Sam managed to reply, “You are so mean, but I can't contradict you!”

“Thanks for your honesty; now tell me, when do you leave?”

His question cast a chill on the trio. The laughing stopped and they glanced at each other, shrugging. It was as if no one wanted to respond. Finally, Blaine turned his eyes toward the web cam and said: “We’re supposed to leave in two weeks, but we’re one chaperone short.”

“What about Miss Pillsbury? She always comes!”

“Yes, but you know she is pregnant and the doctor said she shouldn’t make long trips.”

“Coach Bieste, Coach Sylvester?”

“Remember she’s Principal Sylvester now, and she can't and won't.”

Kurt racked his brain to find a solution, but he came back blank. “What happens if you don't find one in time?"

“We'll have to give up.”

The rest of the discussion was blurred. He watched the trio joking around while participating from time to time.

When they put an end of the session it was late and Kurt hadn't had any one-on-one time with his fiancé. To his sorrow Blaine did not appear to mind at all.

Getting to bed late meant one thing: no Finn dream tonight and, inwardly, Kurt could not help but think he foolishly squandered time with his brother. Who knows how long before they met in his dreams again?

Sleep was long in coming; in the end he went to the kitchen to get some hot milk. He hadn't done it since the dreams started, but he needed it. He was standing in front of the cooker, waiting for the milk to warm, when he heard someone pulling out a chair.

“Is there enough for two?”

Santana.

Without a word, he reached for the bottle of milk and added some in the pan. “Yes, but I always thought you’d rather drink the hard stuff.”

“Funny, Hummel.”

Kurt smiled, and he put some vanilla and sugar in the pan. The silence hovering around the kitchen was weirdly soothing. Once the drink was ready he poured it into two mugs and sat in front of Santana.

She was wearing a panther negligée but, luckily for him she didn't forget her dressing gown so most of her cleavage was covered.

“So what's eating you, Simba?”

Kurt blinked and gazed at her, dumbfounded, and then she smirked at him.

“Come on, don't tell me you forgot your classics? The Lion King?”

“I think you watched it too many times, dear,” he retorted.

“And you not enough; but don't change the topic. What's wrong? Tell it to Auntie Tana.”

Kurt hesitated a second, then he shrugged. “Do you still speak to people from glee?”

“You mean except you and the sleeping chatterbox? No.”

“What about Brittany... Quinn … Puck?”

Santana took a sip of milk before speaking. “Quinn seems very busy with school, trying to be someone she is not; Puck... well, didn't he state he wanted to enroll? So he maybe he is doing some army shit. As for Britt... apparently she’s very busy, also; so busy that she never answers her phone. But we were not talking about me. Well?"

“I don't know; I talked to Blaine this evening...”

“And what has the Wonder Twin done?”

 “Nothing! It's just that Sam and Tina were there, too...”

 “Ouch, no sexy time then; that's sad, so sad...”

 “So, they were there and they seemed to have so much fun… I remembered it was like that for us as well and now, not even one year later, we’ve lost touch. And they were on about the chaperone thing, too.”

“What ‘chaperone thing’?”

“Well, apparently they are missing one chaperone to go to Nationals. If they don't find one _ in less than a fortnight_ they would have to forfeit.”

They drank the rest of their milk in silence, both lost in their thoughts. When Kurt started feeling sleepy, he put his mug in the sink.

“You know, if Hudson was still there he would have gone with them.”

Kurt froze, considering it. “Yes, he would have. Goodnight, Santana.”

“Goodnight, Kurt.”

As predicted, he did not dream of Finn that night. Neither did he the next one. He had to wait nearly a week before seeing the white room again. He’d never waited this long before. Up to the point that he was starting to think he would never going back there.

He had the time to think about Carole's difficulties. He even phoned her. However, he could not tell if talking to him helped her to feel better or not. Often, he surprised himself thinking he was alive while her son was not, wondering if she held some resentment. He could not tell, only hoping she didn't.

Santana's comment about Finn gave him an idea. Hopefully, he managed to set it up during his discussion with his father Now, he was just waiting for Finn to make an appearance. He was starting to lose hope when it happened.

“ _Hummel be more precise with your movements! Stretch your legs, Gomer Goofmore. Okay, restart from the top. 1-2-3…”_

“ _Great idea, bro!”_

_While hearing those words, Kurt sensed the moveable barre shift and he turned around: No more Cassandra, no more dance classroom, he was back in the white room_ at least._

_He didn't take the time to observe whatever change might have occurred. Who cared about the color of the threshold or if the mirror was back? Finn was here and nothing else mattered. It was unusual to see him lying on the couch wearing the ugliest Bermuda shorts and a black T-shirt. He looked more relaxed than the last time they’d seen each other. Kurt got around the coffee table and pulled on Finn's legs to get some space._

“ _It's so good to see you! Why did you leave me alone for so long? I was worried!”_

“ _Don't get your panties all in a bunch, it's not like something bad could happen to me: I am already dead!”_

_Kurt did not even hesitate a second before hitting Finn's thigh._

“ _Sorry, I did not mean for you to worry. I just could not come, that's all.”_

“ _Don't do that again.”_

“ _Promise, but I can't come every night, either. It's not... good for you. You needed to do others things.”_

_Kurt did not like that for one bit, so he dismissed it and inquired, “So since you said it was a great idea, I suppose you are aware of my discussion with dad?”_

_The grin on Finn's face said it all. “So you think they will go? Blaine didn't know, Sam neither.”_

“ _You have been a real puppeteer.”_

“ _Hey! I did not mean to manipulate them!”_

“ _I know, but that indirect way was brilliant. I mean, saying you would do it if you could because it would be like putting an end on something I started… Yep, just brilliant.”_

“ _They are going then?”_

_Finn shrugged. “I think so; at least they bought the plane tickets and made the reservation, but who knows? They might change their mind. Mom is queen of moody lately.”_

That was true, but she did not; they went to Los Angeles.

Forming a group was one of Finn's ideas. At first, Kurt did not think much of it. He let him blab about it because it was one of the only two topics Finn felt like talking about when they met... this hypothetical band and Puck. He didn't have much information about Puck's life at the moment so they talked about the idea of a band.

Then, Santana got that stupid job (her words not his) for an ad and it occurred to him that Finn was right. He needed to have some good thing happening to him, too.

Rachel landed the part of her dreams in Funny Girl, Santana found a job, an adorable girlfriend and a ‘stupid’ Yeast-I-Stat commercial. As for him, of course he had his fiancé Blaine who will join him here next year and his acceptance to NYADA, but apart from that, nothing outstanding happened.

He talked about it with Rachel, Santana and Dani (her girlfriend), and they all liked it. Santana and Dani even asked to be part of it. Well, Dani asked, Santana announced it. Rachel did not feel up for it at the moment, but Kurt did not give up on it. They still could make her change her mind.

One thing they totally agreed on: the group was not complete; something was lacking, or someone. Santana swore the missing part was the name, but her only idea so for had been the ridiculous 'Apcalypsticks'.

Kurt agreed that it was missing, but it was not the only thing. So he set up an audition for new members. And that's how "Starchild" came into their life. His audition was outstanding, maybe too much, that was why Kurt decided to refuse his inclusion in the band.

Santana said it was stupid to refuse such an obvious talent. Dani did not state it in so many words but Kurt knew she agreed with her; as for Rachel, she did not give her opinion. She only asked him to be honest with himself and own up the reason for his decision.

That night, he retired to his room extra early, fed up with the accusation he was facing. Only, once he was in his bed, he realized that this might not be the best way to avoid talking about that Starchild guy. For the fist time in a very long time, he attempted to delay falling asleep, hoping against all odds that it would be too late for a Finn night.

“ _Kurt, what the hell are you doing? Eliott is perfect for the band; you can't let him go!”_

“ _Who is Eliott?”_

_Finn stared at him as if he could not believe Kurt would try to bullshit him. His brother did not say a word, crossing his arms and raising his eyebrows. And Kurt surrendered: he could not escape that Elliott Starchild, even in his sleep._

“ _I don't want to talk about it, it's too late. He’s gone, and I don't know where to find him, so let it go, please."_

_Avoiding Finn's glare, he headed for the sofa. With any luck, Finn would follow and stop looking at him as if he was a huge idiot, even If he was starting to think he had been at that point. Finn asked once again if Kurt had news about Puck and when Kurt said no for what must be the tenth time, a heavy silence fell and remained around them all night long._

Kurt had never been so happy to wake up, just as he was to fall asleep the next day.

“ _Hey, Finn, I am sure you know, but if you don't, I saw Elliott at the diner this afternoon. Rachel and he are now part of Pamela Lansbury! Is it great or is it great?”_

_Kurt did not know what he expected, maybe not an explosion, but not the reaction he received._

“ _Nice, not the good configuration, but it's still nice.”_

_Kurt stared at him. “What do you mean it's not the ‘good configuration’? Didn't you see us singing Roar? We totally rocked the song!”_

_Finn lifted his hands in a sign of pacification. “Cool, bro! I did not say it was bad, just that the set up in the band is not perfect, yet.”_

_Unbelievable. Kurt was completely thrown off by Finn's reaction. It had been his idea from the start and... and he did not seem up to explaining his remark. Instead, he was making a face that Kurt started to match with Puck so he jumped on the couch and looked around trying to find something to say before Finn initiated the conversation._

_However the room did not change except for the mirror that one time and the door whose color lightly shifted at times. He glanced at it and said, “Do you know why the door color changes?”_

“ _It doesn't, it's still white as fuck.”_

_Kurt looked at the door, then at Finn then back again “Didn't you notice? It's amber now. You know light brown.”_

_Finn stared at him a second before shaking in head. “Did you have any alcohol tonight? Whatever, did you have any news about Puck?”_

“ _No, Finn, I already told you, I don't… and before you ask, Santana and Rachel neither. Even Mercedes doesn't have any_ _since_ _he left L.A. I’m sorry."_

“ _Why don't you call him?”_

“ _Finn, why would I do that? Puck was your friend, not mine. We barely talked when we were in the same town. I don't think I even called him once. So I might not have his phone number...” Kurt thought about it a second before shaking his head. “Actually, I am ninety-five per cent sure I don’t. Sorry.”_

_However, Finn did not remain passive. “He is about to make a mistake, a big one. He needs that someone who will give_ _him a hand, Kurt. He was my best friend!"_

“ _Okay, imagine I do call him, then what? I have absolutely nothing to tell him.”_

“ _Of course, you do.”_

“ _No.”_

“ _What about ‘Sorry for wrongly accusing you of stealing Finn's jacket?’”_

“ _Why would I say that? I still don't know what's happened to that jacket. As far as I know, he might have done it”._

“ _I told you what happened to the jacket. Mr. Shue took it.”_

“ _Possible, but Finn you are a ...”_

“ _I am a…?”_

“ _A dream, I_ _am sorry, but you are a dream_ _and_ _you might be wrong about that.”_

“ _Like I was wrong about the tattoo? And Starchild’s name being Eliott?”_

_The silence following Finn's world was heavy; because even if Kurt wanted to he could not refute any of them_

“ _Please, Kurt, call him… and you will need him, too.”_

“ _I still don't have his contact number.”_

“ _I do.”_

 

Waking up was hard that day. Luckily it was a Saturday, which meant no NYADA, and also no Rachel, who usually worked most of the day at The Spotlight, and since Santana spent the night at Dani's, he had the loft to himself.

His mind was in in fog. He did not seem able to put his thoughts straight, and only one thing kept circling in his head, a number...

 

_555-419-4322… 555-419—4322…_

 

He got up, took his sweet time to apply his skin care before having a gargantuan breakfast. Then, he attended to his business around the loft, such as dusting the place and tidying up, all while cursing Santana and Rachel's habit of leaving their stuff lying around when in a hurry.

However, despite his hard activity and the music blaring, only one thing remained in his head: 555-419-4322. It took him some time to recall what that number meant. It was Puck's contact number, the one Finn told him about in his dreams. He knew no one with that phone number. Could it truly be Puck’s?

Every time he answered that question with a no, another part of him pushed up and asked: Yes, but what if it was? How could he meet dream-Finn again without even having tried? And something else bothered him. What happened if he did call and Puck answered? What would that mean? Up to now, he always found comfort in his dream of Finn without really considering it was actually his brother. Kurt thought it was probably some trick of the brain. But, if Puck answered… Kurt shook his head, not wanting to live with that thought.

Finn's ideas had always been right. Each bit of information Kurt got from dream-Finn – whether it was about Rachel's tattoo or Elliott’s name – was true. Yet, the phone number carved in his head felt different. For all the previous events, his mind might have caught something inadvertently during daylight, before casting a different light on it during the night. But it was impossible in this case. He’d never seen that number before and if he dialled it and his brother's best friend answered, it could only mean one thing: dream-Finn wasn't just a creation of his brain. Of course, there was only one way to be sure: he had to call. So, he dropped everything and headed for his room.

Kurt picked up his phone from off the dresser before sitting on his bed. He stared at it a moment, mulling over his actions.

To call or not to call

  
He breathed deep and finally dialed. Listening to the phone's tones was stressful. One ring, he held his breath, two, three, four... then “Hello” and Kurt breathed. Puck, it was Puck's voice! Dream-Finn was right!

“Hello? Okay, the breathing thing is really shitty so I'm gonna hang up at three. One, two...”

Speak, Kurt, speak, damn it!

“Hi.” Gosh, that falsetto voice was ridiculous, and the silence that followed did not help him to relax, on the contrary.

“Hummel?”

Kurt cleared his throat. “Yes, how are you?”

“Good enough. How did you get my number? What do you want? 'Cause I am a bit in a hurry now.”

Sidestepping the first question, Kurt said, “Oh, right, then I'll keep it short: I am sorry."

“Sorry? Why?” And Kurt could hear it in his voice; Puck had no clue of the reason behind the apology.

“About Finn's jacket… I know you didn't do it.”

“Hmmm... So you found it then?” Puck’s voice was smug.

“No, but I accused you wrongly and it wasn't fair; so, yes, I'm sorry.”

“Thank you, for your... honesty? Care to tell me who took it?”

“Mr. Shue, apparently.”

 “Wow, nice way to set a good example!” Puck sneered.

Kurt's heart twinged but he could not disagree. “I know. That's why I thought you should know. Well, since you are busy, I will let you do your thing. See...”

“Actually, I've some time. I just didn't feel like being scolded like a five-year-old again. Now, that I know I won't, I am up for some talking. So how did you get that number? I sure didn't give it to you...”

Kurt nibbled his lips, trying to find a suitable answer; then he shrugged and tried to be as vague as possible. “A mutual acquaintance gave it to me." Then he added in an attempt to shift the subject. "So, last time we saw you, you were talking about enlisting – did you?”

Puck took his time to talk, and Kurt understood fairly quickly that his brother's best friend didn't like the conversation’s new direction. “I did, but let's say that it did not turn out as I’d hoped.”

“Oh, I am sorry. Then, you are back in Lima or rather L.A.?”

Now, Kurt was curious; Lima was a nice small town, but Puck shouldn't go back to that point. He had to go forward and Lima would be a huge fail for him and no-one deserved it, not even Noah Puckerman. Perhaps that was what Finn had been talking about.

“Neither, I am actually in Poughkeepsie_”

Kurt cut him off, laughing. “Pough_what?”

“Poughkeepsie; yep, funny name. I stopped here last week. There was a nice job opportunity here so I took it. Afterwards, well, I’ll see.”

“Where is Poughkeepsie? If it's not too far and you feel like it, you can come here.” The words fell out of his mouth before he could hold them back and strangely – and despite the embarrassing silence that followed – he had absolutely no regret.

“You want me to come... where?”

“Here, in New York. If I remember well, Santana, Rachel and I were not the only ones who liked it here. And, remember what the song said.”

“Which song?”

Kurt hummed the first notes of ‘Empire State of Mind’ before starting to sing:

“New York, concrete jungle where dreams are made of  
There’s nothing you can’t do  
Now you’re in New York  
These streets will make you feel brand new  
Big lights will inspire you  
Hear it for New York, New York, New York…”

 

Puck laughed. “Yeah, I remember.”

“And so, you will come, won’t you?”

“I don't know, dude. You're sure that's a good idea? Santana was not really happy with me, back in Lima... and Rachel...”

“Let me take care of the girls. Rachel is up really high in the sky with Funny Girl, and she just took Santana to some free dolling up. So she must be in a good mood, too. Well, as good as Santana's mood can be, but you see what I mean.”

“Hmmm, not really. I’m gonna have to think about it. I’m working for at least another week here...”

“Okay, get a pen and paper – I'll give you the address. Just come, you know the door will be open.”

Puck took notes, and they talked a bit longer before hanging up. As soon as the call ended, Kurt let himself fall on his bed, relieved. He’d done it; now he just had to break the news to the girls.

Unfortunately, he didn't get the chance to say anything that evening. Indeed, the girls stayed out too late for him to wait up. Now that he was nearly a hundred per cent sure the Finn of his dreams couldn't be a figment of his imagination, he was even more eager to see him.

Sleep took too long to come and Finn was not there. Sunday was busy.

He worked in the afternoon and the girls slept in. But when they woke up, he realized that Dani had stayed the night. As he did not feel like talking about Puck’s probable arrival in front of her, he postponed the discussion, thinking he would tell Santana and Rachel later that day, when he got back from work.

However, when he returned, Dani was still here and Elliott had joined them as well. The young man was literally gushing about the song which he’d barely finished writing for _Kurt’s_ band, so eager to show them during the next practice. And Kurt could not bear it. It was not _Elliott’s_ band! If it was anybody's band it was Kurt's; after all, wasn't he the one who’d created it? He bit his tongue and strained to smile.

He was able to smile more easily when Elliott finally left. Dani went with him when Elliott suggested he escort her because of the late hour. It was so late that Rachel dashed into the bathroom to get ready for bed. Kurt had to give up the idea of talking to her and Santana for the moment.

The next morning, Kurt was not very happy. The week-end did not go as he’d hoped – except his discussion with Puck – and spending two nights in a row without talking to Finn wasn't nice. Moreover he’d spent half of his night twisting in his bed, thinking about the situation with Elliott.

As soon as he was ready, he pressed Blaine's number, hoping his fiancé would lift his spirits up. He tried in vain, but his parting words stayed in a corner of Kurt's head: “Keep your friends close, keep your enemies closer.”

  
Thinking about it the next day, Kurt joined the girls in the kitchen for breakfast, and took advantage of their presence to remind them of the rehearsal.

“Okay, ladies, remember we have band rehearsal tonight!” he happily sang, only to be cut off by Rachel.

“Kurt, I’m sorry, I just...  I can't,” and she got up to put her mug in the sink. Puzzled, Kurt stared at her, but before he could say anything Santana asked, “What? Wait, why?”

 “Santana, don't start with me right now! They are auditioning for my understudy today, and I have to be there. I told them it was ridiculous because I'm never going to miss a performance or anything like that. But it must be in chance... right?” Kurt watched a worried Rachel moving around the loft, talking as she got ready, and he had an aftertaste of déjà vu.  
  
“Hey, if Berry isn't coming, neither am I,” exclaimed Santana.

Oh gosh, the team was rebelling; he tried to get them back on the right track. However, his “Guys, we are a band; we have to practice” went in one ear and out the other.

  
“Kurt,” Rachel continued. “I was thinking you would understand the whole emotional stress I am under right now. I need you to support me. It's just... really hard being a star

He stared at Rachel as she slid her sunglasses up and nodded. It was déjà vu again, but, higher in the big-head scale. But he might be wrong.

 

“No, that song is Ms. Streisand's as long as she's on this planet. But let me tell you something – when she goes, it's gonna be my responsibility to sing it,” Rachel asserted with a serious and sort of angry expression.

Kurt’s eyebrows rose up and he had to tell her, “Do you know how insane you sound?” but she didn't seem to hear him and she carried on. “It was completely inappropriate to try out without telling me” she yelled, and he couldn't contradict her. But, before he could tell her what he thought of the situation or try to appease her, the door behind him opened.

“Hey, roomies, talking about me?”

Kurt flinched as Santana came in, embarrassed to be caught red-hand and said, “No. Why would you think that?” just as Rachel attacked: “Why did you audition without telling me?”

  
“Well, because I figured we would fight about it anyway,” Santana replied; “so we might as well do it afterward. That way you might not have a chance of toppling me.”

And that was the beginning of the chaos.

  
Each word he heard was uglier than the last one so when they headed toward Rachel's room, he stayed in the kitchen, not desiring to be part of that battle. The sound of a vicious slap made him change his mind.

He arrived just in time to hear Rachel say: “I think you should move out” and Santana answer, “I agree” as she walked to her purse to answer her mobile.

  
“Girls, this is crazy: we are friends!” Kurt tried to stop Santana. They didn’t seem to hear, but Rachel took the time to comment: “Not really.”

  
If he thought the situation might calm down, Santana's call proved him wrong. It was from the director and she'd got the part.

That night, going to bed early had an extra bonus: he got to escape the loft’s heavy atmosphere for a while. Luckily, he fell asleep without fuss and landed instantly in the white room.

_Kurt scarcely took the time to glance at the color of the door _ mandarin _ before seeking out his brother. Finn was sitting on the couch, foot on the table and he was grinning like a crazy man._

“ _Finn, did you see the fall out between Rachel and Santana? This is just a dreadful situation, I detest it!”_ _Kurt knew he was losing his temper, but he couldn’t help it._

_And Finn’s seeming calm was far from helping him. “And, they put me in the middle of it, I hate it, I hate it, I detest it! What can I say? I totally see why Santana did it and I know Rachel is blowing it out of proportion, but you know her..._

_Faced with the lack of reaction in front of him, Kurt stopped in middle of his outburst and said, “You aren't actually interested, are you?”_

_Still grinning, Finn shook his head. “Nope. Hello, dear brother of mine.”_

  _Finn's smile was catching; Kurt rolled his shoulder to lessen his stress and smiled back. “Hi, Finn, it's good to see you.”_

_Smile never leaving his face, Finn asked, “Do you have news from Puck?”_

“ _You know very well that I do,” Kurt replied as he sat on the opposite side of the couch. “Was it because he was going to move back to Lima?”_

_Kurt stared as Finn shook his head once again with, if possible, a bigger grin. He was starting to be concerned for his brother. “Finn, are you all right?”  
_

_Bemused, Kurt did not know what to do: Finn was obviously in a weird mood. “Now that I called him, care to tell me why Puck needed a hand?”_

_Seeing that no words passed his brother's lips, Kurt was beginning to worry. What if that had zero to do with moving back home? What if it was serious? More than serious? Suddenly a horrible idea passed through his mind._

_  
“Tell me it's not a Dave-like mistake?”_

_“A what?”  
_

“ _Tell me he was not about to do what David Karofsky tried, that he did not think about suicide!”_

_“NO! Well, not that I know. It's still an incredibly stupid thing_”_

_“Tell me!””  
_  
 “ _No.”_

“ _FINN! You have to tell me; I did what you wanted. Now, the ball is in Puck's court. You can't leave me in the dark like that!”_

_At first, Kurt thought that he was being brushed off, but then he noticed Finn was frowning, clearly in deep thought._

_  
“Okay, he was heading to New Haven.”_

_The answer left Kurt puzzled. “Okay... what's the matter with New Haven? Why is it worse than New York? I don't understand...”_

_“There is no problem with New Haven in itself. It's who is there that’s the problem. It's bad for him.”_

_  
Kurt frowned, still not getting it. Then, Finn continued. “It's Quinn. Quinn and Puck together – that’s bad news written all over. Whatever happens to him when he is around you can only be better.”_

The latter days were upsetting for all the inhabitants of the loft. The bickering between Rachel and Santana didn't cool down – far from it. They couldn't share a room without throwing insults at one another.  
  
Rachel – still high on her "I'm a star" attitude – was the worst or at least the first to attack. To say the evenings at the apartment were tense would be an understatement. Kurt had never been so happy to work the night shift at the diner, or to spend time getting to know Elliott or Dani.  
  
Dani was as funny and sweet as she first appeared. Even better, she understood more than anyone (more than Blaine) what he was enduring at the moment.

  
Indeed, her time with the two rivals was hard, too. Being Santana's girlfriend, she was frequently taken to task by one or the other while working. And she had to suffer through multiple duet competitions where the two frenemies tried to crush each other.

  
It was a painful situation and Dani told him she was forced to listen to Santana ranting about Rachel more often than not during their time alone. As for Elliott, he revealed more of himself every time they were together. Yet, Kurt still didn't know what to do about the new member of their group.

   
One afternoon, Kurt was putting the last touch on his cinnamon rolls while Elliott was talking about some music store he wanted to show him. Once it was done, Kurt arranged the rolls on a plate and brought it into the living room, Elliott following closely behind. They talked for a few minutes, and Kurt cursed himself for not being able to stop his flattery.

  
Suddenly, Elliott became serious and said: “You know, Kurt, it might seem a little bit weird but I am so glad that we met. I mean, you are the first gay friend that I made in this city that is not crazy or just out to hook up... but I do know what you are doing.”

  
“What's that?” Kurt asked

“I am not trying to take over your band, man! That's what you’ve been thinking, right? I mean... that's why we are spending so much time together, right?”

Uncomfortable, Kurt shrugged, but nodded. “You are kind of magic; I am sorry, you know? I just wanted to figure out what your deal was.”

Elliott was gazing at him with an incredibly sincere expression on his face. “My deal is this: you guys are awesome; good people, talented – and you know what? So am I? So let’s not be those smiling friends that back-stab each other, and let’s go out and kick ass together. I mean I am part of _your_ band.”

Kurt smiled. “Yes, you are. Okay, let’s immortalize this moment.”

And they did. The rest of the afternoon was less stressful and a lot more fun. And Kurt realized Elliott was right: it was kind of nice to have an awesome gay friend. Now if only his flatmates’ relationship could go as easily as his talk with Elliott had gone. Kurt still had not told them about Puck's future appearance, something that was getting closer and closer.

That evening, Santana and Rachel reached a height never reached so far. He tried to get them to talk rationally though it didn't seem possible. Before long, he found himself sitting on the kitchen table, watching their exchanges like a game of tennis and fighting against his desire to pull his hair out.

“We all cannot live here together. One of us has to go,” a smugly Rachel said. “I paid rent for three months and I've never gotten a real bed; I have squatter’s right,” replied Santana.

  
“Kurt's got a deciding vote,” declared Rachel, who looked fairly certain to gain the said vote. From Santana's answer, she agreed with her statement. “Oh I suppose that I have just to pack myself now, ’cause we all know whose side he is on.”

“Right!”

  
However they were wrong, both of them. “I’m picking neither of you. This is ridiculous we are friends! I am not letting anything like this break us up!”

  
“This is betrayal, Kurt! That's exactly how friends break up,” exclaimed Rachel.

  
“She auditioned for your understudy. How exactly does it betray you?” And, even if he could understand why she was angry at first, he did not get why she was still so fixed on it. Santana was her understudy, but in the end Rachel had the main part. She was the star as she said.

  
“You know what? Let me break it down for you. The all-purpose of an understudy is to HOPE that the lead got to give up! She only wins if I lose! And I can't be around all this negative energy. It is my big break and she is poisoning it.”

Kurt pushed a little, hoping to help her see that Santana being her understudy did nothing to Rachel herself but could be a beneficial opportunity for Santana even without being on stage.

It did not work.

  
“You know what? You guys can do whatever you want in this apartment. Because I am leaving, and let me tell you something, Santana. You and I have been pretending to be friends ever since we did that stupid duet after graduation, but it's all crap. Because you and I have never been friends and never will be.”

  
Rachel's words hurt Kurt, and seeing Santana's expression, he was not the only one.

  
“Rachel, no...” Kurt stated, hoping to stop her, but fat chance: Rachel, eyes filled with tears, turned around and headed to her room, clearly to pack her suitcase. Santana went to the sofa while Kurt remained at the table, feeling defeated.

  
A rap at the door brought him out of the haze in which the squabble had left him. Kurt jumped off the table, walked distractedly towards the loft door and pulled at it.

“Hey, Hummel, you said I should come… Here I am!”

Kurt cracked a weak smile, his eyes wide. _Damn, talk about bad timing, very bad timing!_ He quickly sized up his visitor. Puck hadn't changed much during the last three months. However, the new stubble and nearly shaved head suited him well. He was holding a heavy duffel bag along one shoulder and his guitar case on the other. Getting a grip on himself, Kurt held out a hand in Puck's direction to help him with one of them before waving him in. 

He was about to announce the newcomer when Santana looked up, caught sight of them and yelled: “Puckerman? What the hell are you doing here?!”

Kurt had time to notice how Puck's expression closed off before intervening, “Shut up, Santana, I invited him.” Then he turned his attention to Puck and added, “Put your stuff wherever you want; we’ll take care of it later.”

  
“Okay, Pretty Pony, stop the chitchat and tell me what he is doing here, that jacket-robber.”

 As one man two voices rose.

  
“Hey! You told me you believed me!”/“It wasn't him, so let it go, Santana.”

  
Puck glared at Kurt. “Hummel, you said you’d talk to them, smooth it over! Fuck, don't tell me you forgot... This was your idea after all...”

  
“No, I didn't forget,” Kurt explained. “The situation had been a bit tense since we talked and I haven't got the chance to do it, that's it. Now let's all sit and talk.”

They started moving toward the couch, but a rolling sound made them stop.

Rachel.

Her whole being brightened when she saw Puck. “Noah! What are you doing here?” She let go of her suitcase and ran into his arms. Puck hugged her back, obviously surprised by the warm welcome. “It's so good to see you, to have a friendly face in this town, rather than those two traitors!”

  
“Rachel, we aren't traitors, we are your friends, but you won't see it,” Kurt responded.

She totally ignored him, and continued talking to Puck, as if Santana and Kurt were invisible. “I am moving out of this negative place, but we absolutely have to see each other during your stay, right?”

Puck nodded, obviously dumbfounded. Then Rachel left, not without ripping up – in front of Santana – a picture of the two of them taken at Christmas.

“Okay, what the fuck was that?” Puck exclaimed after her dramatic exit. Kurt slouched on the sofa, like he'd done many times in the white room. Then, he started to explain the situation to Puck, while Santana stormed into what used to be Rachel's room and took it over as hers.

“I thought the drama would end with high school...” Puck said faintly.

 Kurt laughed. “Have you met Rachel and Santana?”

“I heard you, Kurt! Don't forget this screen is not the best sound-proof thing,” Santana yelled.

“I wasn't trying to be discreet!” Kurt yelled back before switching his attention to Puck. “Are you hungry, thirsty? Need anything or are you ready for the guided tour?”

“Pee, I've got to pee first.”

  
Kurt nodded. "How about we start the visit with the bathroom, then?” and he led Puck around the place, before going to the kitchen and starting to prepare the dinner. Then, he remembered the band was supposed to rehearse that night, something quite impossible in the present situation. He fished his phone from his back pocket and dialed Elliott’s phone number. As it rang, he glanced into the fridge and began taking out things for a salad, as well as some meat.

“Hello.” The sound of Elliott’s voice brought a smile to Kurt’s face, as often happened nowadays, ever since they’d started their relationship over from scratch.

“Hi, dear Starchild.”

“Oh dear, you've got a problem, haven't you," Elliott chuckled.

“You could say that... just to let you know, practice is cancelled for tonight. Dani, you and I have to talk about the Rachel and Santana situation, and promptly.”

 “Something happened? I mean worse than before...? Oh, wait a second – there’s someone at the door.”

Washing and cutting tomatoes while holding his phone wasn't an easy task and Kurt cursed himself for not having taken his hands-free kit.

“Okay, I’m back,” Elliott announced. “So… you were saying?”

“To make a long story short – Rachel moved out. I don't know where she is at the moment. Also, a friend of ours just arrived so it's better to meet another time. Sorry for the short announcement.”

“No worries; I, myself, have an unexpected... visitor?” Elliott said it very softly.

“A good one or bad one?” The way his friend said it pricked Kurt’s curiosity.

“I don't know yet. Just... I know where is what you lost,” Elliott said very cryptically.

“What I lost... What are you talking about?" Kurt paused in his food prep to concentrate.

Elliott repeated, “Lost?” He stressed very hard on that very short word as if it would magically explain everything. Kurt thought back to the discussion and then warily asked, “Rachel?”

  
“Yes!”

“Oh, _she_ is your visitor.”

“Uh-huh.”

 “Then, we really need to talk. Meet me tomorrow at lunch… at Starbucks?”

“1 p.m.?”

“Okay. Do you message Dani or do I?”

“I'll take care of it. Bye!”

“Bye!”

Kurt washed and dried his hands before placing his mobile back in its case. Then he opened the cupboard to take out a jar of olives, but interrupted himself: did Puck like olives?

“Blaine?”

Kurt jumped and banged his head on the cupboard door.

  
“Fuck, sorry, I didn't mean to startle you, dude," Puck said, sounding weirdly shy.

Kurt rubbed his head. “It's okay, I just… I didn't hear you come back. You were saying?”

“Asking if it was Blaine…” Probably noticing that Kurt still did not know what he meant, Puck made himself clearer. “…on the phone.”

"Oh, no, it was Elliott, one of our friends from NYADA.”

“Is Dani, too?”

Kurt watched Puck, astounded by his question. The other man had never seemed very interested in Kurt’s social relationships.

“No, Mister Eavesdropper,” Kurt smiled. “Dani is Santana's girlfriend, and my friend, too.”

“Oh, okay, sorry.” Puck excused himself and scratched his head, clearly embarrassed. “I wasn't straining to listen, I was here and I heard.”

“In case you wondered, that's where Rachel went… Also, do you like olives?”

“Yep.” Puck remained silent a few seconds while Kurt restarted his preparation. “Strange choice, if you ask me,” Puck commented as he sat by the counter.

  
“What?”

  
“Well, you said she’s at Santana's girl.”

  
Giggling, Kurt shook his head. “Oh no, she is at Elliott’s, not Dani.”

“Hmmm, kinky. Are they...”

Kurt cut him off before he could complete his sentence. “NO! I love Rachel, but ugh, yuck! Elliott is as gay as I am so no, no, no.”

“Don't get on your high horse, dude, I didn't know!”

"Good, now you do, so no more of that.”  
  
Kurt put the final touches to the salad before placing the meat on the grill and called out, “Santana!”

  
Keeping an eye on the steaks, he casually asked, “So do you have any plans for tomorrow?”

When Puck didn't answer, he pushed. “So?”

“No, and I still don't see why I am here. You offered, you must have an idea, don't you?”

  
“I told you why. A mutual friend told me you might need a hand, a place to go from the snatch. So here it is! I don't know what you can do here. But come on, Puck, it's New York!”

“Hey, I’m no one’s pity project, okay? And who the fuck told you that?”

  
“I can't tell you who. But one thing: it's not pity. Look, when I didn't get into NYADA the first time, I was... angry and depressed and I had nothing here but Rachel. And it was the same for Santana. And look at us; it's not perfect, but not bad, either. If we did it, so can you, too. If you are interested, that is.”

A barely dressed Santana arrived then, preventing any reply.

  
“Puckerman, keep your eyes in your sockets, and give me a hand. This isn’t a restaurant here!”

  
Kurt glanced at Puck; the poor guy wasn't used to Santana swaggering around the loft dressed in very little. Of course, it didn't really matter before, since Rachel and he weren't interested in what she had to offer. However, Puck was, or at least his eyes definitively were.

The meal wasn't too friendly. That wasn’t unexpected since Puck and he never had much to say to each other and Santana and Puck were more often bickering than talking. Despite all that, it was still calmer than the last few days were. As soon as dinner ended, Santana went back to Rachel’s old room, obviously intending to enjoy the bed as much as possible. It was only when she was gone that their previous discussion was resumed.

Surprisingly, it was Puck who started. “What's your plans for tomorrow?” His back was to Kurt as he washed the dishes; Puck had offered quite politely and who was Kurt to refuse?

Kurt, who was still at the table, lifted his head to watch him. “Working in the morning, I've lunch with some friends, and then school until 6 p.m.”

When Puck didn't reply, Kurt realized he wasn't very welcoming. He’d invited Puck to New York but just stated he had made no time in his schedule for him. He was fairly sure it wasn't what Finn had in mind when he asked Kurt to call Puck. Kurt nibbled his lips, trying to find a way to integrate Puck into his day.

  
“Why don't you join me at Spotlight?” His question hung in the air for a long time, at least it felt that way to Kurt. When Puck finished washing the last plate, he turned around to stare at him and asked, “What's Spotlight?”

“Oh, yes, you don't know. The Spotlight is the diner where I work; Rachel, Santana and Dani, too. Actually, that's where we met her.”

“At what time should I get up?”

“Oh, whenever you want. I start at 6.30, so you may sleep in for a bit later. I work until midday. It's one of my longer shifts of the work week. I’ll write down the directions. He paused before adding, “You can meet Dani and Elliott after and then, if you want to get a look at NYADA, you can, or just whatever, 'cause I don't think coming into class with me would be a possibility.”

Puck requested some clarifications before agreeing. Afterwards, Kurt helped him to fix his bed, or rather the couch, before getting ready for the night. It was a little later than usual. Too late for Finn, too late for Blaine so he enjoyed his moisturizing routine instead and got into bed.

  
Dawn came too soon and Kurt was still tired, but it was nothing that a huge cup of coffee couldn't change. Before departing, he took the time to write down the directions to the diner for Puck and to entrust him with his keys.

  
Kurt was nervous and distracted all morning long, worried that Puck would get lost in the big city. Luckily, his concerns were misplaced; Puck eventually arrived around 11 a.m. He sat by the counter and drank a coke while scrutinizing the place. Kurt couldn’t tell what he thought of it. The minute his replacement arrived, he headed to the back room to change: they had to hurry to be on time to meet the others.  
  
Any fears Kurt might have had about the meeting went out the window in less than thirty minutes. Oddly, at least for him, things fell into place. It was as if Puck had always been supposed to be there, with them. He fit in with the rest of the band like neither Rachel nor Santana ever could, as if they were four pieces of the same puzzle.  
  
And two days later, after a long discussion with Elliott and Dani about the future of the band, they decided to exclude the two feuding girls. They assured them they might be reintroduced should their behavior improve, but from the way things were at the moment, Kurt didn't see that moment coming any time soon.  
  
The same night, Puck attended their rehearsal and joined in with his guitar and voice. And, this time again, he fit so easily that, after exchanging a few glances with Dani and Elliott, they opted to ask Puck if he wished to be part of the band.  
  
To say Puck was surprised by the proposition would be an understatement, but they could all see he loved it as much as them. And they didn't have to press him much to accept. That was how Kurt found himself announcing the death of Pamela Lansbury and the birth of Wracking Dream and The Tetrad Diner at the beginning of their next gig.

Even two weeks later he still didn't know where the name came from. No, it wasn't true: he knew the reason for the dream, of diner and Tetrad, but not the remainder. And, he was not sure he wanted to learn. He realized that night they were good, the public loved them, even Santana and Rachel agreed they were fantastic. They shared an alchemy Kurt had never felt before. And once again, being together on that stage fit. To Kurt it looked like despite their never-ending and unpronounceable name, the band would live.  
  
The drama around the band wasn't the only one they faced. Puck spent most of his first two days in New York in Kurt’s company. Kurt was pretty sure they spent more time together in two days than in all three years they had known each other.

On the second day, Kurt’s shift at the restaurant was with Rachel.  
  
At first it was a bit tense, and then she noticed Puck's presence and relaxed, something that changed before she left. Kurt was at the counter preparing an after eight milk shake, when it happened. That was not his favorite preparation: he liked mint and he liked chocolate, but hated the taste of both of them at once.

  
Puck was sitting there distracting him when Rachel came to settle beside him without saying a word.

“Hey, Rachel,” Puck said. “You’re leaving?” Kurt knew he wanted to talk to her, to try to appease her worries about Santana.

“No, I am waiting for Latoya,” she replied and started looking around, avoiding meeting their eyes.

Kurt finished making the drink and came back to clean up a bit. When he arrived, Kurt got two surprises: Rachel and Latoya were talking there instead of going to the office as Rachel had demanded.

“...because of the rehearsals, so eight hours instead of twenty… if that's alright with you,” Rachel was saying.

Kurt glanced at Rachel; he couldn't say he didn't know things were wearing on her. She couldn't carry on working as she was. Between ‘Funny Girl’, NYADA and the diner, she had no time to do anything else, not even her homework. What he did not foresee was their manager's response.

“I'm sorry, Rachel, but I can't accept it. I need someone reliable, and it looks like you aren't that person anymore. I understand you have something huge coming for you, and it's great, but you have some choices to make.”

Kurt tried not to eavesdrop, but it wasn't easy when the discussion took place just above his head.

“You know, I can fill in for you for a bit if you want,” Puck chimed in.

Kurt raised his head when he heard Puck's offer. Rachel's expression said it all: she did not appreciate it for one bit, contrary to the manager beside her.

  
“And you are?” Latoya eyed Puck curiously.

  
Rachel, however, talked ahead of him dismissively. “Puck, you don't even live here so please don't waste her time.”  
  
“I _do_ live here, don't I, Kurt?”

  
Three pairs of eyes turned toward Kurt, curious. He smiled and nodded before seeing new customers arriving. He went to take care of their order and when he came back, Latoya was gone and Puck had a smile dancing on his lips.

“Hey, Kurt, I've found a job, co-worker.”

  
Kurt raised his hand to high-five him. “Well done!”

  
“KURT? How can you say that? What's the matter with you?” Rachel screeched. “I am your best friend, not Santana, not Puck!”

  
“Oh, so today I am ‘Puck’, not ‘Noah’, anymore,” Puck commented, and Rachel didn't pick it up, focused on her reproaches.  
  
“... They are completely consuming my life and you don't care at all!”

  
Kurt sighed, wishing she didn't always make a scene, but unable to stay silent. “Rachel, what are you talking about?”

  
“What am I talking about?! First, Santana got my part, then it's him who obviously got my place at the loft, and now my job!”  
  
“Rachel, Puck isn't taking your... anything: _YOU_ left the loft without notice! And if he wants to live there, Puck is welcome! We need money for the next rent. As for your job, you just asked for less time, something Latoya can't allow. Now tell me: how can he take something that isn’t yours?”

  
Tight-lipped, she stared at him, breathing through her nose, and then she swept her hair back before speaking. “Maybe not Puck, but Santana is.”

 “Once again, _how_? Should she have told you before auditioning? Perhaps. I know it's the part of your dreams, but if Santana wasn't your understudy, someone else would be. There is always an understudy, just in case. You can't be your own understudy, Rachel! See, even Kristin Chenoweth got one… Kristin Chenoweth! And you know why? Because that's what professionals do!”

However, Rachel didn't like how he expressed his opinion. After a far from delicate grumble, Rachel grabbed her bag and left the diner without a backward look.

Approximately two days later, Blaine phoned him, very excited, and demanded that Kurt join him on Skype as soon as possible that evening because he had news, very good news. Kurt tried to coerce him into saying more since it was barely 2 p.m. and he wouldn't be able to go home before at least 6 p.m., but that was futile: Blaine wanted to be on Skype. Thus, Kurt had to chomp at the bit for hours, curious about the announcement.  
  
When he arrived at the loft he was alone, something rather rare of late. He changed into more comfortable clothes, turned his computer on and slouched on the sofa.

The first impression he caught was the brightest smile of his boyfriend. It was contagious, and then Kurt smiled and sang, “Hello, darling, looks like someone is in a good mood here!”

  
“Hey, Kurt! I'm so glad you're here! Guess what?” Blaine exclaimed with so much joy that Kurt briefly wondered if his fiancé had taken some illicit substance during the day.

“You... um,” Kurt tried to think of something that would qualify as incredible news but, before he could offer anything, Blaine nearly yelled: “I got in!”

Kurt beamed. “NYADA?”

  
With a smirk, Blaine confirmed, “Of course! New York here I come!”

  
“Congratulations, sweetie; I’m so proud of you!”

Blaine looked down bashfully. “Thank you.” That false humility wasn't him and Kurt could clearly see through it.

“Quit with the false modesty, Blaine. Did you forget who you were speaking to?”

  
Blaine cracked up. “You’re right, but Kurt, do you understand? In less than two months we will be together. It's going to be just as we dreamt. You, Rachel and me, sharing the loft together… It's gonna be perfect. Of course, Santana and Puck would have to find some other home, but I won't be there before at least two months so they have time.”

Kurt listened as Blaine explained how their lifestyle was about to change, completely bemused by his presumption. Once he came back to himself, he said, “No, they won't.”

“What?”

  
“Santana and Puck, they won't be leaving.”

  
This time it was Blaine's turn to be puzzled. “But, Kurt, it was always supposed to be like that – just the three of us. At first it was four, but Finn...”

  
“Don't talk about Finn right now, please. As for Santana and Puck, they certainly won't leave to make a spot for you. I refuse to ask them.”

It was their first quarrel since they got back together and Kurt wondered if it meant the honeymoon phase was already over. He didn't add a word, only staring at Blaine who was glowering. Then Blaine raised his head and declared defiantly, “Rachel could.”  
  
Screwing up his eyes (an obnoxious action that caused wrinkles) Kurt declared, “No, she lost that right when she left us hanging without the rent. Now the responsibility for the loft is left up to Santana, Puck and me, and, it will continue as such.”  
  
Blaine and he stared at each other defiantly through the screen after Kurt’s declaration. Kurt saw in his boyfriend's eyes the minute he accepted his defeat.

He, however, didn't stay vanquished for long. “You never told me how Puck arrived there; Rachel said something about how you invited him? I never noticed any closeness between the two of you...”

“We were not.” Kurt sneakily crossed his fingers, hoping Blaine wouldn't press the issue. He wasn't that lucky.

“Then, why? And, why would you rather live with them than with me? I am your fiancé.”

Kurt didn't like the intonation, as if he was the baddie of the story because he didn't want to kick his friends out of their home to make a place for him. He didn't like that tone, not at all.

  
“You are my fiancé, Blaine, but we agreed on a long engagement. We don't have to live together as soon as you come here. Actually, it might be a good thing for you to have your own space for a while.”

“Ouch, you are not being very nice tonight. Is it a Puck effect?”

“Leave Puck out of this! And why are you so against Puck right now? Wasn't he your friend last year?”

“Yes, we were, but that entire affair was weird. I never noticed any love lost between the two of you. So I am curious, especially since you are trying to confuse the issue.”

  
“I am not confusing the issue, it's just... Finn would have wanted it, me giving his best friend a helping hand. I mean, I know they had their differences, but in the end Puck was still his best friend. As a matter of fact, I never imagined we would get along this well when I made the proposal. Anyway, do you know what you are going to do next year? I mean for the living situation?”

It was also a hot topic, but it was still better than talking about Puck and the reasons for Kurt’s offer. He watched Blaine shrug as he stated, “If you are sure that living with you and Rachel isn't a possibility...” as Kurt shook his head, he continued, “I may try to get something with Sam, Tina and Artie. I’m not sure. I’ll have to talk to them.”  
  
Jumping on that opening Kurt asked, “So, Tina is coming to New York as well? Why didn't you tell me?”

After that, the talk went more smoothly and ran on for a few more minutes. Then, after ending the conversation, Kurt switched off his laptop and sighed before closing his eyes to relax. Lately, talking to Blaine exhausted him; he genuinely hoped that it would become better once they were in the same city.  
  
“I thought someone asked you to invite me here?”

  
Kurt jumped, not having noticed Puck's arrival.

“Sorry?”

 

“You just told Blainers it was because of Finn, and you told me something else. I simply wonder who you lied to.” Puck’s brown eyes were serious as he stared intently at Kurt.

From Puck's defensive attitude, Kurt knew he was in big trouble. His brain was kind of fuzzy when he blurted, “I didn't lie to you, to either of you.”

Openly disbelieving, Puck raised his left eyebrow. “Really?”

  
“I ...” At that second, Kurt realized he only had one way to get out of this tricky situation.

“Finn, he asked me to do it.”

“Sorry? I don't think I heard you correctly. Did you just say that _Finn_ _asked_ you?”

“Yes.” And for the second time that evening he didn't offer any details

“When? ’Cause last time I checked, he wasn't here anymore...”

Kurt stared at Puck, wondering if it was the best way to work. Then he detected something in Puck’s eyes. Despite his questions, Kurt could have sworn that Puck believed him.

So, he answered more freely. “I know it might seem strange and…” he paused, “maybe you should sit down.” Once Puck dropped into the chair in front of him, Kurt continued.

“Ever since Finn died, I keep dreaming of him... no, that's not it exactly. It started before that, when he had his accident.”

“You dream of Finn... Is it kinky dreams, 'cause I would bet Blaine wouldn't like that.”

  
“NO! Yuck, it's nothing like that, Puck. We are just in this room and we talk. We talk about lots of things, things that occur in my life, or Rachel’s or yours and...” Kurt cut himself off because Puck was frowning now and he wondered if he had made a mistake. Maybe he shouldn't have revealed this to him.

Maybe Puck was thinking he was crazy. Kurt knew that if the roles were reversed, he would have had some doubts about Puck's sanity. Kurt stood up and started pacing in the living room, stressing about having made a mistake.

  
“So you said Finn has been visiting you. That's fucking weird, but let's say I believe you...”

Kurt froze and then turned around to gaze at him. “Do you?” They gazed at each other for a while, and then Puck nodded. Kurt grinned before releasing a breath he wasn't aware of holding.

“Really?”

Shrugging, Puck confirmed, “Yes, I mean, as I said, it's weird, but you’re not a liar. Tell me more about it. How is he?"  
  
More relieved than he would admit, Kurt sat back and told him all he remembered. Puck was interested but a bit sad too. And when he asked him why Finn never came to see him, Kurt understood, even if he had no answer to give.

  
“Hey, you said Finn asked you to invite me; did he tell you why?”

Hesitating for a moment, Kurt pondered if it was the right idea to be honest on that, but then he realized that he owed it to him.

  
“He said you were on the verge of making a huge mistake…”

  
“A _mistake_?”

  
Kurt shrugged and added cautiously, “Something about Quinn?”

  
Puck jumped. “Quinn?”

“Yes, he said you wanted to go to Yale and that Quinn and you together would only have turned out bad. He felt that whatever you might do here in New York could only be better for you than going to Yale.”

Something changed in Puck; he suddenly turned pale. Kurt got closer and laid a hand on him. “Puck, are you, okay? Did you eat something today?”

“It's true!”

“What?”

“It's really Finn, isn't it? It's true, he really is in your dreams!” Puck took a deep breath and stared, wide-eyed at Kurt. “I never talked about my plans to anyone!”

The rest of the afternoon was less loaded with emotion, but it was a turning point in their relationship. Sharing such a secret drew them closer than before, closer than they would have thought it possible.

And Kurt liked it.

 


	2. part 2

Three months later

“Puck! You will never guess what happened today,” Kurt called out as he burst into the loft. At the same time, Puck came out of the bathroom with just a small towel around his hips, buff body still damp from the shower. Kurt watched him and then yelled, “Puck! You’re getting water everywhere!”

The barely dressed boy kept strutting into the living room like it was completely normal. “Chill, dude; you say that like every time...”

“And every time I have to clean up after you!” Kurt huffed in frustration. “Why can't you behave like a normal human being and dry and cover yourself in the bathroom?”

Without hesitation, Puck replied with a shrug, “Santana does the same, so maybe you are the abnormal human being? Just saying...”

Kurt grumbled and wondered how he’d ended up living with two exhibitionists when he was so... shy?

“I give up,” Puck continued, watching his friend flit about the loft.

Kurt, who was staring pointedly at the water on the floor, turned his irritated attention toward his friend, now puzzled. “What?"

“I don't know what happened,” Puck casually replied before heading for the kitchen.

Kurt followed him and the water he was absolutely refusing to clean up. “You didn't even try, but it doesn't matter… Blaine asked to be in my lessons.” His friend offered him a beer, which Kurt refused, and turned round to get the bottle opener.

“Okay...? Well, you know how the guy is; I mean... he pushed to spend as much time as possible with you. It's sweet.” Then Puck turned back once more and, seeing Kurt’s face, he corrected, “or not?”

Kurt pulled a kitchen chair out and sat on it, hid his head in his arms and screamed. He listened to Puck moving behind him, but stayed still. Then, he felt a hand on his shoulder. “Kurt? What's the problem?”

Kurt waited a moment, appreciating the warm comfort of the hand before raising his head. “I know that it's sweet, but I guess I've got used to living my life how I wanted it, and I feel like... he is suffocating me! I mean, you know I love him, but he works at the same diner as me, he wants us to have breakfast together every morning, he’s there during all the WDATTD's rehearsal; if we don't have a date in the evening, we spend it together in one of our apartments. He sleeps here more often than not and now he is in nearly all my classes. Tell me, how is that sweet? Wherever I go, he’s there! It's just… too much!"

Kurt blushed under Puck’s sudden glare who demanded, “So he’s kind of stalking you?”

Eyes wide open, Kurt thought back to what he said and blushed even more as he shook his head. “NO! I just, I just need a bit more ‘Kurt’ time.”

“Well, tell him.”

Kurt bit his nails, in deep thought. “I can't do that.”

“Why not? Isn't it that communication shit you are always talking about?”

“Yes, but I don't want to hurt him. I know he means well, but...”

“Okay, stop the bullshit. You are gonna marry the guy! Come on, if it's like this now, imagine in like five years, the guy is gonna keep you in a leash!”

Some people might like that, but the picture Puck gave him of his future wasn't nice, far from it.

“Think about it; I’m gonna put some pants on.”

As Puck left the kitchen, someone knocked at the door. Kurt started to get up, but he heard his friend was already on it, in the towel, so he stayed where he was.

Then, Puck sang, “KU-RT, Blaine is here”, and Kurt grimed ruefully, knowing the man was amused by the whole situation.

“Hi sweetie,” he felt Blaine brush a kiss on his neck and lifted his head, smiling as much as possible, given the circumstances.

“Hi, Blaine, long time no see!”

Blaine giggled, completely missing what Kurt was trying to say. “You're such a dummy. Anyway, since when does Puck answer the door in a towel? Does he think he is in a porno? I mean, you should tell him that the chance of a girl ready to undress on the other side is close to none.”

Kurt sighed but didn't take the bait: Puck's presence was still a sore topic and it wasn't rare for Blaine to make a negative comment about him, or to make fun of him before getting angry when Kurt defended him. Rather than starting an argument, he diverted the conversation without even trying to be subtle.

“You seemed happy when you arrived....”

“Yes! I popped by home before coming here and I saw Sam and Artie...” Blaine dawdled, waiting for Kurt to show some interest, and – being the good guy he was – Kurt did.

“And…” he asked, taking in the way Blaine’s eyes sparkled.

“We thought it would be cool to go clubbing tonight! What do you think?”

Once upon a time, Kurt would have found Blaine's smile contagious and heart-warming, but tonight was not one of them.

It was just tiring. Kurt couldn't help but notice that ever since Blaine arrived in New York, it was rare for him to go to bed early enough to see Finn and Kurt missed his brother. A lot. So, for the first time, he declined the invitation and, moreover, he didn't let Blaine change his mind and had no regrets. And better, he still hadn't when Blaine left an hour later.

That evening he had dinner with Santana, Dani and Puck. It wasn't scheduled, nothing fancy, just a little dinner among friends and he enjoyed it more than any nightclub. And the best part was that he didn't feel guilty about going to bed early: Santana and Dani had other things to do (and he really didn't want to know what) and Puck was practically pushing him toward his bedroom: Puck, too, was eager to get Finn's news.

 

_The room had changed a lot since his last visit. Of course it was still white with the exception of the door which was now in some blue tone. No, the difference was somewhere else: while it used to be tidy, it wasn't anymore. It seemed like a hurricane had passed through it. Even Finn's room at home had never been so messy and, deep inside, Kurt knew he was at fault. It was so much chaos that it took him a moment to find his brother._

_To be honest, it was the other way around: Finn saw him, spoke, and it was only then that Kurt saw him._

_“Bro! It’s good to see you. I've missed you! Why didn't you come sooner?” Finn’s voice came from under a pile of clothes in a corner._

_“Finn?” Kurt asked before roaring with laugher. “Why are you dressed like that?”_

_His brother lowered his eyes and – surprisingly – blushed. Kurt didn't remember ever seeing Finn blushing when he was alive._

_“What; I was bored!”_

_“And trying on clothes helped you to stop? I would have never thought you’d like a good makeover. And, I must tell you: crinolines aren't your thing.”_

_“I know. But let's stop talking about my clothes. How are you?”_

_Attempting to find a place to sit, Kurt moved the outfits apart. However, for every dress or pants he moved, others took their place so he gave up and sat on them. “Good.”_

_“Don't lie to me; you know that I know.”_

_Kurt glared at him. “Then why’d you ask?”_

_“Because I’m polite.”_

_“Oh, that's new.”_

_“You know, Puck’s advice wasn't bad.”_

_Looking at his brother, Kurt grinned. “You know, it's hard to take you seriously right now. Can't you put on something else?”_

_“Just shut up. If you can wear a skirt for prom I can wear one in my...” He looked around him before finishing, “my white room. It's not as if I could just snap my finger and change. I need time.”_

_“Did you try?”_

_Despite of his obvious enjoyment, Finn stared at him but did it. To his great surprise, his clothes did change and Kurt wondered where his brother's mind was at the moment. Indeed, instead of the crinoline he was in a djellaba, still not his usual outfit, but less ridiculous._

_“So you were saying?”_

_Kurt observed Finn as he glanced at his new costume. Kurt saw on his face when he weighed up the pros and cons of staying as he was inside his head before nodding, apparently satisfied._

_“I was saying Puck was right. You were always talking my head off about how I need to communicate with Rachel, so follow your own advice.”_

_“But I don't want to hurt him...”_

_“So you’d rather be hurt yourself? Nice way to live.”_

_“I am not hurt...”_

_“Not physically, but he is crushing you emotionally and socially. That's not better.”_

_Kurt hated when Finn scored a point. “I don't want to talk about it.”_

_“Right. “_

_Then Finn looked around and asked, “You want to try on something? I think I have a Christian McQueen suit you will just love!”_

_Kurt giggled. “I doubt it.”_

_“Yes, I do!”_

_“Christian DIOR or ALEXANDER McQueen, Finn!”_

_“That's what I said!”_

 

Kurt woke up in a good mood, ready to take on the world. He’d decided to follow Finn and Puck’s advice and he sent a text to Blaine saying they would see each other in class. Then, he headed to the kitchen.

“Good morning, Kurt!"

He kissed Dani's cheek, tugged a lock of Santana's hair just to hear her complain, and asked, "Who wants French toast?”

His question hung in the air for a second and when he glanced at them, he laughed. It must have been the first time ever since he’d met Santana that he saw her gobsmacked. Unfortunately, she recovered quickly and made fun of him. “Oh, do we have a Martha Stewart at home this morning?”

“Very funny, Dopey... If you aren't nice, I'll prepare just enough for Snow White,” he pointed at Dani, “Sleepy and the Prince.” He hesitated and then added, “Maybe for Happy, too.”

Santana stared at him, curious. “Okay, so Puck is clearly ‘Sleepy’; you are the Prince – who is ‘Happy’?”

Kurt started taking the eggs and milk out of the fridge and went to the bread box as he answered. “Elliott, I am seeing him this afternoon.”

“Interesting...”

Kurt focused on his preparations for a moment before asking for clarification. “What's interesting?”

“Where is Pretty Pony in your version?”

Kurt took a break before answering, “He… he isn't part of the scene.”

“Hmmm, as I said: interesting. Anyway, I don't hear the shower, is he still sleeping? Will I be lucky enough to have a hot shower this morning?”

“He didn’t stay over,” Kurt said quietly as Santana quirked an eyebrow at him.

"Santana, leave him alone," Dani said quietly and Kurt sent her virtual kisses. He didn't want to talk about Blaine this morning. He’d talked about him last night with Puck, during the night with Finn and he knew he was about to spend almost all day in his company. He needed some no-Blaine time.

Starting from then, he led the conversation and, with Dani’s help, they managed to avoid any touchy subjects.

Puck was woken up by the scent of the French toast and joined them, turning the breakfast into a family thing they rarely had the chance to do. Well, except for the Friday night dinner when Sam, Rachel, Artie, Elliott and Blaine came.

He tried keeping his cool. However, it turned out that Puck and Finn were right. It wasn't healthy to bottle up all these emotions, all that bitterness. In the end he exploded, and it wasn't nice.

After that, he and Blaine avoided each other for three days, something that shouldn't have been possible since they shared most of their classes, but was effortless seeing as Blaine was absent.

As Friday night got closer, and to prevent a very tense meal, Kurt decided to act like a grownup. Therefore, he didn't go straight home from NYADA, as he was longing to; instead, he took the subway for Sunnyside, where Blaine was living.

Sunnyside was a nice district, and the apartment was big and bright, but Kurt was happier in Bushwick.

Once he arrived in front of the building, he took a deep breath before climbing the stairs. He stared at the door a moment before finding the courage to knock. He wasn't in a hurry to start the upcoming discussion.

It was Sam who opened the door. His friend stared at him, nibbling his lips, and glanced back over his shoulder – in what must be Blaine's direction – before permitting Kurt to enter.

"Hey, Kurt."

"Hi, Sam."

It was obvious that something was bothering the blond, yet when Kurt asked, "Are you okay?" the other man nodded. "Yep, I think I’ll go for stroll, you know?"

Puzzled, Kurt watched as Sam struggled at grabbing a vest, slid his wallet and phone into his back pocket, all at the same time.

“You don't have to go because I am here, you know," Kurt told him.

"Oh, believe me, I know,” Sam told him. “But I feel like I’d rather be somewhere else. So see you tomorrow!"

And just like that, he was gone. Kurt watched Sam leaving with a pang. There was a time they’d been good friends. They used to share a home, a bathroom, and now they were like strangers. No, it wasn't true anymore; Sam was his fiancé's best friend. It was like in the song, ‘Somebody that I used to know’.

Once the door closed behind him, Kurt started searching for Blaine. He wasn't in the living room, or the kitchen, or his bedroom, whose open door revealed an empty space. Kurt stood still, listening to the house sounds.

At first, there was none, but then he heard it: a TV or radio. He followed it and stopped in front of Sam's room and knocked.

"Hey, white chocolate! No need to knock to come in your own room!"

"That's not my room." Kurt pushed the handle as he spoke and stayed on the threshold waiting for an invitation. Blaine got up from the bed where he was lying and sat.

"Kurt! I didn't know you were coming…"

Kurt scrutinized the scene around him and had a weird feeling. He couldn't put his finger on it, but there was something about the situation that rubbed him the wrong way. However, he brushed it off; he would have time to think about it later.

"I know; I thought we should talk about what happened."

Blaine didn't look thrilled by his idea.

"Care to tell me what's the matter with you?" Wrong starting point. At least Kurt thought until Blaine's cheeks turned red and he started throwing words.

"Really? What’s the matter with me? There is nothing the matter with me, it's you! Ever since I arrived in New York, I feel like I don't know you. Why can’t I be enough for you?"

Giving up on the invitation, Kurt entered and sat on the only chair which was by the window.

"Blaine, you are enough! I don't understand; what are you talking about?"

"No, Kurt, it's obvious that I am not. I feel like you speak with Puck or Elliott more often than you talk to me! And I’m YOUR fiancé, not them! You’re always trying to leave me to spend time with them or that Dani. Did you think I didn't notice? Well, you were wrong!"

"Blaine, this is completely insane! Do you realize it? I spend so much time with you that I have to put my foot down just to have time with my friends, because this is what they are… my friends!"

Frowning, Blaine slowly asked, "What are you talking about?"

As he seemed more open to discussion than before, Kurt attempted to explain the situation, how their respective needs were not filled by the way they were currently living.

Kurt told him how he felt smothered by all Blaine's demands, while Blaine felt like they needed to make up for lost time.

And there was also another problem. Apparently Blaine not only had some weird, hard feelings about Puck living in Bushwick with him, but he felt the same about Elliott.

Kurt didn't understand where all that jealousy came from. Apart from the Chandler thing – that Kurt still didn't consider cheating – he never gave Blaine any reason to doubt his love.

They managed to lay all their problems out, talked about it and found a way for them to have everything: some Blaine and Kurt's time but also some time for them. The next Friday dinner was a lot calmer than Kurt had feared.

_"Hey, Kurt."_

_Kurt opened his eyes slowly and looked around. Was his bed in the white room? He twisted around to get a better look. Yes, the white room, with a red door. Finn was sprawling beside him, wearing appropriate pajama shorts._

_"Hi, Finn. No crinoline today?" It had become his usual greeting and more often than not his brother smiled and tried to tickle him or put him over his shoulder, but nothing like that happened this time. He barely noticed the faint smile._

_"Ha, ha, ha, very funny." Finn's face was oddly gloomy, though. Kurt quickly went through all the people Finn was normally worrying about._

_Kurt had talked to his dad and Carole on the phone so he knew they were okay; he’d had lunch with an over-excited Rachel, who couldn't wait for her show to start now that it was only hers and not Santana and hers; Puck seemed free of worry at the diner. No, Kurt had no explanation for Finn’s long face._

_"Finn, you are scaring me. Did... did something bad happen? It's Dad, isn't it? His heart? Don't tell me he had another heart attack! No, it's the cancer, it’s back? Oh my gosh!"_

_"No, Burt is alright, don't worry about him. I don't know if I should be the one who tell you..." Finn said all that, without looking at him and Kurt's worry grew up a bit more._

_"Now you have to tell me... So?"_

_As his brother was keeping his silence, Kurt shook him and pressed him to talk. "FINN!"_

_"Okay, it's... it's Blaine. I am so sorry, Kurt."_

_"Blaine? What... oh."_

Kurt woke up in sobs, his brother's name on his lips. He needed Finn's shoulder to cry on but he wasn't there. He wanted someone, anyone. Where was Bruce when he needed him? He closed his eyes, wishing in vain to make his tears disappear and turned the question in his head.

Where did he put his boyfriend arm? He hadn't seen it for so long. It was probably in the back of his closet, but even if he wanted it, he wasn't in any condition to get up and search it.

He couldn't believe Blaine would do it again. How could he have_ and with... Kurt pressed his face in his pillow to hide his sadness, and then he felt it – the mattress dipping lower. Turning his head, he saw the shape of someone sitting on the edge of the bed.

Puck.

"Kurt? Are you... are you okay?"

The whisper made Kurt catch his breath. He didn't think he was that loud! He wasn't ready to talk about it yet.

"Y-yes." His beyond the grave voice mustn't have been convincing.

"I dreamt about Finn and he said you might need a hug; do you?"

Kurt didn't say a word; he couldn't so, instead, he nodded. Luckily, Puck saw it despite the darkness and slipped between the sheets. He slowly moved closer to him. As soon as their bodies touched, he hugged him. It was just exactly what Kurt had needed. And, the best thing was that his friend didn't ask him any questions.

Kurt cried while Puck rubbed his back while offering words of comfort. Sleep slowly came to them. The night, devoted to friendship and support ended, however, with screams.

"KURT! What's going on down there? I KNEW there was more than friendship between the two of you! How...."

Kurt jumped, woken up by Blaine's loud accusations and a feeling of cold. He looked around and noticed that Puck had rolled away from him. Blinking, he tried to focus on the scene taking place in front of him.

In front of the bed, Blaine was accusing him of cheating, again, and in the bed beside him Puck was trying to explain to him that nothing of that sort had happened. And suddenly something snapped in Kurt. Staring furiously at Blaine he yelled, "Shut up!"

His voice was cold, frozen, and it had the desired effect: they both fell silent. Kurt waited for Blaine to turn his eyes away from Puck and look at him before continuing.

"It's finished," he announced and took off his ring, holding it out to Blaine. "I don't want to see your face, ever again."

Eyes wide open, Blaine exclaimed: "KURT! How could you? For how long have you been...?"

"Blaine, shut it," Kurt interrupted. "I didn't do anything. YOU did it! I know what happened and I also know with whom..."

If he had any doubts about what Finn had told him, the way Blaine turned pale and tried to lean on the wall to hold himself up would have erased them. "Kurt... I'm sorr..."

"I just don't want to hear about it. Just one question: was it worth it?"

Blaine didn't reply, just blinked. Kurt sneered at him. "I see; there, take your ring. You know the way out, don't you? I think you should go."

His words were clear, but apparently they didn't find their way up to Blaine's brain since he remained motionless.

"Dude, you'd better leave… or I'll make you," Puck snarled.

Puck had started to get up before Blaine turned tail and fled.

"You okay?" Puck asked as he lay back.

"I’ll get there... or at least Finn said so."

"Who was it?"

"Sam."

"Damn! I did not see that coming!"

"Me, neither..." Then, a flash of Blaine in Sam's room a few weeks before came to him. "At the same time, I noticed how close they were at times. Perhaps, that's why Blaine has always been so jealous of you and Elliott. I mean, if he was aware of the danger his relationship with Sam was to us... I don't know,” he sighed sadly. “I just wanted to be enough for him, y’know?"

Puck hugged him tight. "You are enough, princess; he’s just an idiot who is soon going to be kicking himself."

 Finn had been right; ever since Puck arrived in New York, Kurt never seemed to stop needing him. Finn? That made him realize something. "Last night, you said that Finn told you I needed a hug? Does it mean what I think it means?"

Kurt raised his head to observe his friend's expression as Puck explained. He wasn't smiling; no he was literally glowing. "Yes, he came to me, Kurt! He was dressed pretty weird, but it was him. Completely panicked, 'cause you’d woken up and he couldn't do anything to help you feel better."

"I hope he’ll come back," Kurt whispered.

"Yeah, me, too. Hey, do you feel up for school today?"

"No, but I’m still going. I can't miss it, I don't want to. I've a dance exam today."

"Isn't Blaine your partner?"

Kurt hid under his duvet. "Oh, dear, yes he is. I don't want to! Why did he have to ask to be in most of my classes? Give me a gun now!"

"What a diva!" Puck laughed and Kurt felt a hand trying to mess up his hair.

"PUCK, stop it!"

The laughter increased. "What? It's not as if I could mess it up more!"

Kurt got up, grinning. "You're a jerk!" Who would have ever thought that he would find himself joyfully in a bed with Noah Puckerman?

"Well, that ‘jerk’ was about to prepare your breakfast, but now I think I will just go back to sleep until I have to go to work." And that was exactly what he did; he settled back down in the bed and pulled the duvet up to his shoulders.

Kurt rolled his eyes. "And you say I am the diva." As the other man didn't react, he climbed up onto him and pouted. "Pretty, pretty please?"

Before Puck could answer, Santana came in, looked around and smirked. "Hmmm, kinky. Now I know why Hobbit Number Two lit out of here like his gel-head was on fire."

Santana's words were like a cold shower to Kurt and, becoming aware of his actions might look, stood up. "I’m going to the bathroom."

Behind him, as the bathroom door closed, Puck glared at Santana who simply smirked at him before sauntering out of the bedroom. Puck sighed and flopped back onto the bed, his mind going to the sad look on Kurt’s face as he’d left.

Maybe Finn could be the one to help him cheer Kurt up… and help him forget about his cheating douchebag of an ex-fiancé.  
The following days, Kurt managed to avoid being alone with his closest friends. He talked to Elliot and his mate was more than happy to be used as a screen – especially with Rachel. Indeed, their short cohabitation had left some resentment on Elliot’s part. To Kurt, it was a huge relief.

He knew Rachel had her opinion about the way he put an end to his engagement with Blaine, but he didn't feel up to talking about it with her at the moment. He was a bit uncomfortable with Puck and Santana since the girl caught them playing in his bed, even if the moment she interrupted was very platonic.

And there was the Sam factor. Sam kept on trying to talk to him. Artie told him he should listen to him, but he didn't feel up for that conversation at the moment, or the one Blaine tried to have either.

The situation was stiff from all sides, and Kurt was starting to believe it would remain that way for a while when something happened.

As the Funny Girl opening was getting closer, Rachel started to get nervous. Apparently, she’d read various Broadway critics' blogs and that increased her nervousness to an abnormal level.

Surprisingly, it was Santana who realized it and instead of making fun of her, she opted to talk to Dani and followed her advice.

According to Dani, surrounding Rachel with the love of her friends would help her to calm down. Therefore, Santana invited everyone to the loft the day before the big opening.

Was she genuinely trying to help a friend or was she only hoping to watch him on the edge all night long, Kurt couldn't say.

Kurt heard Puck arguing with Santana about the big bash she’d organized without asking any of them but, sadly, that didn't change anything. He resigned himself for the incoming meeting and got himself ready to be in the same room as Blaine, Sam, Rachel, Puck, Santana, Mercedes, Tina, Artie, Dani and Elliot. Of course, all his problems were mostly with the first two.

The night before the gathering, Kurt had a long talk with Finn and his brother gave him some advice he decided to follow: being forthright with Blaine and Sam so the evening would be less stressful.

As soon as Rachel arrived with her bag, Kurt knew Santana had been right: she was a bundle of nerves.

He did his best to take care of her, and when Blaine and Sam tried to talk to him, he did exactly what he had foreseen: he stopped them with his hand and said, “Okay, let's be honest. I didn't ask you to come, Santana did. The three of us being in the same room doesn't mean I agree to hear your explanation, nor to accept your fake excuses. We are all here for one reason: because we all are Rachel's friends and she needs us now, that's it. The best you can do is acting as if I'm not here. Got it?”

Before either of them could answer, Puck called out, “Kurt, Rachel just locked herself in your room and she won't come out!”

“I’m coming.”

Puck stayed by his side all night long, preventing any approach attempt by Blaine or Sam. Pretty quickly, Kurt understood he had been stupid to think that the night Puck spent in his bed would change anything in their growing friendship.

Once his mind was at rest about that, he joked around with Elliot, Puck, Dani and Santana. Rachel and Mercedes joined in sometimes, while Blaine, Sam, Artie and Tina stayed together.

Once in a while, Kurt felt someone staring at him, but he never turned around to see who: it didn't matter. Without meaning to, he noticed that Blaine and Sam's relationship didn't seem to be as free as before, and he couldn't help a feeling of satisfaction from rising in him. The rest of the evening would have passed without too much drama if they didn't have some unexpected visitors.

“Hello, losers,” yelled a sadly well-known voice.

“Sue, you said you would be nice,” reprimanded another just as familiar voice.

Sue Sylverster and William Shuester.

Kurt watched as everyone rushed to the door to welcome Mister Shue. Kurt stayed behind and he frowned as watched them embrace him. Kurt only had one thought in mind: this was the man who’d stolen Finn's jacket and let Puck take the blame.

“Kurt?” Hearing Dani, he turned his head toward her. “Hmm?”

“Is there a problem?” He’d never told anyone about Puck and the whole jacket situation and, as far as he knew, Dani wasn't even aware of it, so he shook his head. “No, I 'm just... surprised to see them here.”

She didn't look convinced. “Are you sure?” He feigned a smile and nodded before joining the others by the door. He heard Santana trying, without succeeding, to put Sue back in her place, but he stopped listening once Mr. Shue was in front of him.

There were times when the man’s smile was reassuring, but it wasn't the case anymore, at least not to Kurt. He saw the man's face and the only thing he thought was: liar, liar... The professor started to open his arms, probably to hug him, like he’d done with the others, but Kurt didn't let him end the movement, holding his hand out.

Mr. Shue’s smile fell and he stared at Kurt, puzzled, as he shook his hand.

“Kurt, it's good to see you. How are you doing?”

“Fine, thank you. It's nice of you to come for the opening. I know that it's very important to Rachel.” Kurt glanced in Sue's direction and added, “but you could have refrained from bringing her with you. It wasn't necessary and Rachel really didn't need to listen to her comments.”

Mister Shue looked contrite. “Well, you know how she is, I couldn't prevent it.”

Kurt shook his head, more and more irritated by the man, and turned around to have a few words with their second 'guest'. It was their home, but despite all their efforts, they couldn't get Sue out of it.

After that, Kurt went to the kitchen to try to calm himself. He closed his eyes, and started focusing on his breathing.

Breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in... Kurt overheard someone enter behind him and froze. There were so many people that he didn't want to see, that he probably didn't have enough fingers to count them.

“Kurt?”

Puck... Kurt breathed out and turned around to look at his friend. “Hey, I heard the door, who left?”

Puck stared at him before answering. “Almost everyone, except for Sue and Dani."

Kurt sighed, that wasn't how things should have gone. “Rachel?”

“She wanted to go back home. To be honest, I would have done the same if I could.” Kurt watched as Puck's hand ran where his Mohawk used to be, obviously troubled. “I think, well, Sue took your room, dude.” Before Kurt's brain realized what he’d just said, Puck added, “You looked angry back there, what happened?”

And just like that, all the anger Kurt managed to hold back thanks to his breathing exploded. “Mr. Shue! I don't understand how he can just fly in here, all smiles, as if everything is normal! And he came with Coach Sylvester!"

“Remember, she's Principal Sylvester now.”

Kurt finished his ranting as if Puck didn't say anything “... How could he do that to Rachel? He knows how Sue is. I.. I just don't understand him!”

“It's okay, Rachel left, so she won't be subject to Sue’s bad-mouthing any longer and we are working tomorrow, so we won't see her much, either.”

Kurt rubbed his eyes, and sighed. “I know, and it's not the only problem.”

“Okay, well tell. It's not good for you to bottle up so much emotion. See what's happen with the cheating dwarf!” Puck pushed him to talk, to express his anger; Kurt hesitated a minute, turned his head on one side and he said.

“He never told us the truth, and that's not fair.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Finn's jacket! You didn't do anything and yet he let you take the blame. He didn't apologize...” The following silence was stressful, but as the minutes passed and Puck didn't offer any reply, Kurt looked over at him.

“Puck?”

The man cleared his throat. “Thanks, but don't worry about that. I'm used to it,” and the smile that appeared on his lips was sad, so sad that it crushed Kurt's heart.

“What do you mean?”

“Easy, I always get blamed for stuff, so I’m used to it.”

There was such resignation in that sentence that Kurt remained speechless a moment. “Puck, you shouldn't...”

“But I do. Let it go, Kurt, don't hurt yourself because of that. Now, it's bedtime, we both have a long day tomorrow and it's very late,” and he started leaving the room, most probably heading for the bathroom.

When Puck said the word bed, the penny finally dropped for Kurt. “Shit!”

“You finally got it, eh?” Puck snickered, “Come on, I'll let you share my bed.”

Kurt snickered. “Such a prince,” he smirked before rushing to overtake him and get to the bathroom first.

He heard Puck running and complaining behind him: “Hey, I was here first!” They play-battled near the bathroom door before agreeing to share.  
…  
The day of the opening was kind of busy. Puck and Kurt were supposed to go to the theater by themselves and meet up with the others.

They arrived just in time to see Mr. Shue leaving. Actually, he left just when they arrived at the door. Despite Puck's wish for him to let the man get away, the anger Kurt had felt the night before came back with full force. At first, he tried to hold it back: he said hello, the nicest way possible before letting Puck hold the chit-chat.

“Hey, Mr. Shue, the stage is the other way!”

The man stopped in mid-step and blinked in their direction, clearly trying to focus on them. “Hey guys, I have to miss the show; sorry, Emma is in labor so I have to go back as quickly as possible.”

The man seemed excited and Kurt watched while Puck hugged him. Kurt tried to stay quiet, to keep his opinions to himself, but in the end, the anger and resentment won. The professor was about to disappear in the crowd when Kurt's hand acted by itself to stop him.

“Kurt?” His ex-professor looked at him, puzzled.

Kurt released his hold on the man’s vest and held up one finger. “One piece of advice.”

“Yes?” And Kurt hated how it sounded, as if the man was just humoring him.

“Don't let your kid be accused of things you have done. It's shitty behavior.”

“Kurt...” Puck attempted in vain to interfere but Kurt was completely focused on his ex-teacher's reaction who seemed confused. His reply confirmed it. “What are you talking about?"

Eyes still fixed on the other man, Kurt said, “The jacket, I know it was you, and letting Puck take the blame was a cheap shot.”

“Kurt, I don't know who told you that, but...”

“Seriously, just stop it already. I know it's the truth and Puck knows it, too. The person who told us is trustworthy, contrary to... other people here. So lay off with the cowardice and take your responsibilities. I don't want it back, and I am sure Puck isn't looking for any apology either, even if he deserves it.”

Strange how lighter he felt now, even with Will seeming annoyed, but at that moment Kurt didn't care. A hand slid into his and Kurt glanced to his right and observed Puck, because it was him. His friend's face was blank. For a moment, Kurt wondered if he should have just let things go, just as Puck had asked the night before, but then he noticed the corner of his mouth was turned up and his eyes were very bright. He tightened his grip and look back toward Mr. Shuester.

As the man remained silent, Kurt shook his head and said “Come on, Puck, we should go and look for our seats,” and still holding Puck's hand, he walked inside the theater without even saying goodbye, contrary to Puck.

Finding their place didn't take them too long. They were lucky to have front-row seats like Santana and Mercedes while the others were installed three rows behind. Santana noticed them first. She smirked and lifted her eyebrow mischievously.

At first, Kurt didn't understand why, and then he realized he and Puck were still holding hands. Not wanting to make a big deal of it, he didn't let go immediately. Instead, he slowly went to his seat, putting his bag on the floor, and only then he freed his hand from Puck’s to remove his jacket before sitting.

Then he took the time to inspect the place: while smaller than The Gershwin Theatre it was bigger than he’d imagined and, to his huge relief, it looked full, except for the one seat on his left. Kurt was watching out for his future neighbor when he sensed a breath on his ear, “Thank you.”

Surprised, Kurt spun his head to the right and found himself face-to-face with a grinning Puck.

“Sorry?” Without moving away, Puck repeated, “I’m saying ‘thank you’ for what you did with Shue; you didn't have to.”

Kurt interrupted him. “I had to say something. It wasn't fair, and you would have let him get away without saying anything. You shouldn't let people use you that way, you worth more than that.”

At these words, Kurt saw Puck's eyes getting brighter, then something exceptional happened. “As I said: thank you. You are the first person who’s stood up for me and that was very hot.” Then, Kurt watched as Puck leant towards him and kissed his cheek.

Shocked, Kurt blushed and blinked once, twice and then opened his mouth, but before could find something to say, the lights went out. So he closed it, and focused his attention on the stage.

His heart was beating wildly in his chest and as soon as Fanny appeared on stage, his eyes started tingling with emotion.

Here it was: Rachel Berry’s Broadway début and he had never been so proud of her.

When the first note of “Don't rain on my parade” began playing, the tears finally fell and slid down his cheeks. Without thinking he searched for Puck's hand and held it until the end of the show.

When the curtain came down, they were all on their feet clapping as loud as they could. Grinning, Kurt turned his head to observe the public. He saw smiles, tears, and a myriad of emotions. He noted in passing that the seat beside him had stayed empty during all the show. He smiled at Puck and noted that he wasn't the only one who’d shed a tear.

When the applause calmed down, they all joined Rachel in her dressing room where they congratulated her. Then she decided to have fun until the New York Times review came out. They headed for 'Pouch', a gay club Blaine recommended. Kurt didn't say a word, just wondered how many times Blaine had been there without him knowing before they split up.

Once again, Sam tried to stop him to talk, but Santana put herself between them and ran interference, allowing Kurt to enjoy the night. He sang ‘Pumpin' Blood’ with Rachel, Santana, Tina and Puck, danced with Mercedes, Elliot and Puck, Puck and Puck again.

To be truthful, he danced more with Puck that night than he could remember. If he felt a bit awkward because of what had happened before the show, it passed fairly quickly. He could sense, too, the heavy look Blaine sent their way, his judgment on their friendship.

Kurt and Puck had never been that close before; with all the dancing, Puck was touching him in a new way. It was weirdly nice. All of his friend's attention was on him, and once he decided to ignore Blaine, Kurt in turn concentrated on Puck.

And strangely, it was as if he was seeing Puck for the first time. The body between his hands was like no other he’d touched. His own body had changed since high school; he was taller, and since his baby fat disappeared, he’d started growing long, slender muscles, not thick like Puck's.

Although Puck was a bit of an exhibitionist, Kurt had never taken the time to really look at him. At that moment, dancing in that club, though, he did.

Kurt had always had this image of Puck as a huge guy, not like Finn but yet taller and bulkier than Kurt himself. Now Kurt realized they were exactly the same height. Puck’s body had muscles, well-defined and bigger than his, but not excessive like a body-builder’s, either. The arms wrapped around him were the perfect size, and Puck’s chest, which he regularly pressed against during the slower dances, was out of the world.

Wrapped in Puck's arms, Kurt felt warm and secure, the perfect mix. It was so perfect that he didn't notice the hours passing, and when Rachel came to tell him it was time to check the newspaper reviews, he was surprised. It was almost daybreak.

The group – minus Elliot, who’d left earlier with a dark-haired man he met on the dance floor – headed for the door, Kurt still held close to Puck and enjoying the way their bodies brushed from time to time. Rachel, whose stress level was higher than Empire State Building, was monopolizing the conversation with tons of “what ifs” and they took turns to answer and appease her worries.

Once they got their hands on the New York Times, Rachel was unable to read it. The newspaper went from hand to hand until Santana volunteered to put an end to their suspense so they all could go to bed and read the review.

Then they all went to their home, and Kurt had the horrible surprise to catch Coach Sylvester having sex in his bed. Santana got the pleasure of kicking her out of the loft but even if his bed was empty, Kurt joined Puck in his, really not up to sleeping in his bed at the moment.

 

_“Wasn't she beautiful?”_

_Kurt jumped, puzzled: he had never gone to bed so late and still managed to land in the white room._

_”Finn?” He turned around, barely registering the light blue color of the door in his search for his brother. The room, as always, wasn't big, so it didn't take him long. His confusion turned to amazement when he saw Finn’s clothes: no djellaba, no crinoline nor Boubou. He was in a beautiful black suit with a bow tie. Getting a closer look, Kurt noticed a false mustache stuck above his lips._

_“Yes, I'm classy, don't you think?” Finn turned around, showing off his new costume. Grinning, Kurt nodded. Why couldn’t Finn have been as interested in fashion when he was alive?_

_“Is it...?”_

_“Nicky Arnstein's costume, of course!” and Finn sat at a table that wasn't there before. It was exactly the same as in Rachel's show._

_Kurt joined him and sat on the other side. “You know that mustache is ridiculous, don't you?”_

_“Just shut up. I told you, I’m classy. You never answered my question, though. Wasn't she great?”_

_Laughing, Kurt shook his head. “That wasn't your question, but yes, she was stupendous, breathtaking..."_

_“She totally brought down the house! Jesse loved it, too. Did she tell you she saved a place for me? Isn't that sweet?”_

_Kurt thought back to the empty seat beside him, and felt a pang. The seat had been for Finn. Then, he realized what Finn had just said._

_“Jesse? You mean... Jesse St. James was here?” Kurt stared at his brother, waiting for him to correct him, but nothing of that sort happened. Instead, he had his ‘I don't want to talk about it' face on. So Kurt grimaced. “Finn, tell me it's not him? Not that jerk!”_

_Finn remained mute, but Kurt hadn't spent as much time with him without learning to read him._

_“Oh, my gosh... Please, tell me we won't have to see him ever again!”_

_However, if Finn refused to refute this affirmation with words, it was written everywhere on his whole being. “Can't it be somebody else? Somebody new?”_

_This time he received an answer, not the one he would have wanted, but an answer anyway. Finn simply smiled and shrugged._

_“... But Finn, two divas together, I will end up crazy! It can't happen!”_

_“They understand each other and he'll take good care of her. She needs to have someone.”_

_Kurt cut him off. “She doesn't need him, or anyone else. Rachel is strong. ”_

_“Kurt, think: We all need a little help sometimes – someone to help us hear the music in their world and some other shit I don't remember. Whatever, someone is out there for all of us. And that someone will find you.”_

_Bemused, Kurt inquired: “Are you quoting...”_

_“One Tree Hill? Yes, we watched it enough times. And, well, I thought that Lucas guy was right. I am dead, Kurt, so yes, I want Rachel to be happy. Even with him. I mean, I know he was a jerk, but if you put the egg event aside, they got along really well, don't you think?” And he didn't give Kurt time to say anything before adding: “I saw you with Puck tonight. You were buddy-buddy and Blaine hated it!”_

_Finn seemed very happy about the last part, and Kurt grinned, “Yes, Puck’s a good friend.”_

_“Just a friend?”_

_“Yes, why?”_

_This time his question remained unanswered._

 

Kurt woke up late, very late and yet Puck was still asleep. The cover was missing, someone having stolen it. Despite the disappearance, it was a real furnace as half of Puck's body was lying on him. Kurt had to admit it was a very nice feeling, but he didn't go into it in-depth. Instead, he tried to get up as furtively as possible.

It was the third time he’d shared a bed with Puck, and it was a pleasure he shouldn't get used to, but once again he didn't want to think too much of it.

Puck was his friend, just a very good friend. He sneaked out of the room, at least attempted to, but Santana must have a radar to catch him when he had a sleepover in a room that wasn't his, since she was on the couch, sipping a coffee.

He stared at her as she smiled, and when she opened her mouth, he cut her off with “Not a word!” and headed for the bathroom, followed by her mocking laugh. He was closing the door when he heard “Kinky” and he had to control himself so as to not bang his head against the wall.

On Wednesday, Rachel cornered him alone as he happily escaped his swordplay class without having to listen to Blaine.

“Finally! Come on, my friend; it's time for us to have a discussion and don't even try to avoid it.” Rachel gripped his arm to pull him outside. She was nice enough to buy him a coffee before starting her interrogation.

“Kurt, what have you done? Leaving Blaine for Puck? Puck! You know that I love him; he is my friend, a very good friend and, well, I must say he grew up a lot since we went out together and even more since he arrived in New York, but he is still PUCK!” Rachel exploded and without giving him the time to answer she continued. “I know we are friends and we have the same dreams and I am a bit more advanced than you on my way to achieve it but you don't have to follow my love life path to reach it!”

Kurt listened to her rambling, fighting to not lose his temper. He took a deep breath and asked, “Rachel, what are you talking about?”

She interrupted herself to watch him, clearly offended that he hadn't understood what she had said. "First Finn, then Blaine and now Puck…”

Kurt couldn't believe she dared to say that. He lost any restraint he might have had and let loose. “Don't you dare! Rachel, do you hear yourself? I used to have an unfortunate crush on Finn, but in the end he was my step-brother so refrain from talking about it, please! As for Blaine, I’d had a huge crush on him, and YOU, my supposed friend at the time, decided to try to go out with him without caring for MY feelings! As for Puck, I don't want to talk about him with you. You aren't behaving like a friend to him at the moment, so I refuse to discuss him with you.”

“Kurt!”

“Yes?!”

Rachel sipped some tea and sighed. “I am sorry, you're right. I'm just... I just don't understand it. We were supposed to be happy, right? Finn and I will never have our happy ending, but you could! Blaine and you still have that chance. I don't want you to waste it… It's so precious.”

Kurt observed his friend closely. She was actually being sincere, truly hoping for him to make thing better for Blaine and himself. Not for the first time since their breakup he cursed Blaine. Deep in thought, he grabbed Rachel's arm and started walking toward the park on the corner.

“Kurt?”

“Hush, I’m thinking."

He looked for the nearest empty bench and pulled her down to sit beside him. There he turned serious eyes on her and said: “First, there is nothing but friendship between Puck and me. We are roommates and band-mates as well as friends. He is a very good friend; I only understand now why Finn liked him so much. Secondly, my putting an end to my engagement had absolutely nothing to do with Puck. It's all on Blaine. Ask him.”

Scowling, she looked away, nibbling her lower lip, and then still without looking at him she said: “Blaine said he came upon you and Puck in bed. I saw the both of you at the loft and Puck and you seemed closer than friends. I never saw you act like this with anybody and it's the same for him. To tell you the truth, you never looked so at ease with Blaine, despite being a couple for nearly two years. It looks believable, but you are saying he is the one at fault. So, I don't know what to think...”

“Rachel? Look at me.” When she didn't, he pressed. “Rachel, please look at me.” She raised her eyes and blinked, pushing the tears down her cheeks. Gently, he wiped them off. “Sweetie, don't get in such a state. I will tell you my version, and then you will make your mind up for yourself. Blaine cheated on me again, with Sam. He really saw Puck in my bed, because he was consoling me.” Kurt paused to catch his breath.

Rachel stammered, “But, but... you are soul-mates, Kurt, don't forget that! Hey, what about me? You are my best friend, but Sam... and Blaine, they...”

“Stop it, Rachel! I'm sorry, but if Blaine and I were soul-mates, we won't get our happy ending in this life, not together. I forgave him once, but I would be an idiot to forgive him twice. Now, don't let our separation get between the two of you. I know you love Blaine; I know he is your friend. Maybe, at some point, I’ll be able to talk to him without the urge to punch him, but the time isn't here yet. Same goes for Sam. I haven't talked to him yet, and I really don't want to hear his excuses.”

They stayed silent for a few minutes, sipping their coffee, watching people walking through the park while Rachel was assimilating what he’d just told her.

A fond smile on his face, Kurt watched a group of children playing off-ground touch before he casually asked “So, how is Jesse?”

“Who?”

“Jesse St. James.”

“How in the world should I know? I haven't heard from him since Nationals!”

“Didn't he come to watch your show?”

“Not that I know of...”

Shit, Kurt could have sworn... “Oh well, I must have been mistaken...”

“You must; do you know when you’ll be up for our weekly dinner? I’ve missed it.”

“Rachel, even if the two cheaters can't come, you are still welcome, you know.”

“Oh… Thank you. Well, I will take care of dessert. I’ve discovered a wonderful bakery. They have delicious cheesecake. I bet you'll like it.”

After that the discussion was lighter and Kurt was happy to get his friend back.

Two days later, when she turned up for dinner, Rachel exclaimed, “Kurt! How did you know Jesse would come to see me?”

Kurt winced and he cursed Finn for being right before saying, “I... umm…”

“Prophetic dream, maybe?” Puck teased while taking the cake Rachel was holding.

While Rachel hung her coat on the rack, Kurt looked at Puck and flipped him the bird with a smile. Puck burst out laughing and blew him a kiss. Turning his attention back to Rachel, he saw her watching their exchange and inexplicably blushed.

He appreciated her lack of comment but decided to turn all attention on her. “What are you waiting for: tell us what happened with Jesse?”

“Yes, why don't you tell us what that St. Sucks had to say?”

“Santana...”

“What, that guy was an asshole to you, to all of us! I don't know why I should care about him now!” Santana spat.

“She's got a point, Kurt. Don't you remember what he said about your audition?” Puck came back from the kitchen in time to add his two cents to the conversation.

“Of course, I do, but we all need time to become better people and I’d think you two would appreciate that.” As they both stayed quiet, Kurt asked Rachel: “So?”

She sat on the couch next to Santana and Kurt found himself sharing what they called the loveseat with Puck. The seat was so small that they were pressed against each other. It was hard to find a good position until Puck put his arm on the back.

Rachel was rambling during all the exchange, but Kurt was almost sure he saw her eyebrow rise when he and Puck settled into a comfortable position. He could bet she would have something to say about it the next time they would be alone.

Rachel was so animated when she talked about Jesse now that Kurt understood what Finn had tried to tell him: she needed someone, and as strange as it might be, he got the feeling that Jesse was that person.

He wasn't as good as Finn, far from it, but he would support her better than anyone else. At that moment he promised himself to support them when they needed it, because he had no doubt that they would have ordeals to face. The first one, he mused, would be Rachel's dads; then he caught Santana imitating the vomiting motion, and added her friends to the list.

He listened to Rachel regaling them in great detail with the ten minutes she and Jesse had spent together the night before, and then she jumped to their lunch with still as much detail.

Kurt lifted his feet up onto the small couch and, with Rachel’s voice droning on in the background, he slowly slid down until he ended up with his head on Puck’s chest. The sound of his friends’ voices, interspersed with occasional laughter, slowly rocked him to sleep.

 

_“What are you doing here so early? Are you ill?”_

_Kurt raised his head, surprised to see the chest he was leaning into wasn't Puck's anymore. “Finn?”_

_“Of course, now wake up! Wake up! I wanna know more about the first date, even if Rachel said it's not a date...” Finn exclaimed._

_“Well, look at your real-live TV,” Kurt snarked. “What is stopping you?”_

_“You! I can't watch if you are here! And I wouldn't say, but it's not very polite to sleep when you have a guest.”_

_Kurt opened his mouth to reply, but stopped himself: Finn was right. So, instead he sat straighter and crossed his arms, pouting. It was the worse welcome ever!_

_“Hey, stop it!” Kurt screamed as Finn was poking him on the side “Finn! Stop it! What are you doing!”_

_“I help you to wake up”_

_Kurt stood up trying, in vain to avoid the poke._

 

“Finn!”

Kurt felt three pairs of eyes on him.

“Kurt?” Rachel asked, curious. “Are you okay? What did you say about Finn?”

Hearing her last question, Kurt realized that she hadn't noticed his quick nap. He glanced at Santana, hoping she also had been oblivious, but the gleam in her eyes proved him wrong. Annoyed, he sat up straighter and shivered when he lost the heat of Puck's big body.

“Finn? Uhm, nothing…”

When Rachel squinted, he knew she was about to ask more questions and he didn't want to hear them, so he stood up and said, “I don't know about you but I am starving, let's eat!” Without waiting for a reply, he headed for the kitchen.

The night was calm, a bit like the year before when the four of them were the only ones from Lima. They'd got back into their old dynamic quite easily, but with a level of comfort they didn't have before.

By the end of the night, Santana gave herself a new role: Rachel's publicist and offered to work for The Wracking Dream and The Tetrad Diner – for a certain percentage, of course. Puck and Kurt refused, since they didn't need a publicist at the moment, but assured her they would take her proposition into consideration as soon as needed.

Who could have guessed it would come so soon.

“Hey Guys, I've registered us for the best things ever!” Puck exclaimed when he burst into the loft.

The man was late by more than half an hour for the rehearsal. Dani, Eliott and Kurt, who were spread around the room, working on improving their new song “Irrational Sorrow ”, turned toward him curiously.

The smile on his friend's face was a mixed of smug and doubt, which worried Kurt. He didn't know what Puck had done and was a bit afraid to be told. Puck headed for the couch and waited for the others to join him.

Kurt glanced at his band mate to see if they shared his worry, but their faces only showed interest and curiosity. He sat on what became his seat, or rather their, since he usually sat next to Puck on the loveseat and stared as Puck took a piece of paper out of his back pocket. It was crumbled so his friend took the time to smooth it out before laying it on the box they used as a table.

At once Dani, Eliott and Kurt leant in to read what was written in electric blue. Since the paper was turned the wrong way around, it was hard for him to decipher and he barely managed to read CONTEST and Wendy before his eyes went wild.

“Puck, what did you exactly do?” Dani asked precautionary.

“Simple, I saw that ad about the Wendy's Singing Competition the other day, and I thought: why not? So I asked Santana to film our show at Enid's three weeks ago; Artie helped me edit it a bit and I sent it along.”

Puck said it as if there was nothing wrong with the fact that he had acted without saying anything beforehand.

“But, Puck you can't make such a decision without asking us first!” Kurt exclaimed, taken aback by Puck’s action.

“I know, and I meant to tell you, but I thought I would have more time!"

Only silence followed Puck's words while the three people grasped the concept of what he had said. Then, Eliott inquired: “Man, what do you mean by more time?”

Puck stood up and started walking back and forth in the room, and when Kurt saw him scratching his head in a sorry movement he felt his stomach twist.

“I got a phone call today; they want us.. We have a meeting with the production in two days.”

“TWO DAYS! PUCK!”

Their friend turned around to face them “I know, I am sorry, I never thought it would be so fucking quick! I mean, how many videos could they get per day? Tonnes! So I thought I would have time to talk about it with you all and convince you to try! And now I don't!”

Kurt blinked, fighting to figure out what Puck just said, but he must have misunderstood. There was no way he meant they were about to be on live television! That would be too much, too fast!

“AHHHH!!! Oh my God, yes. Puck!”

"Dude! That's the fucking bomb!”

The simultaneous scream of Dani and Eliott made him realize that he hadn't misunderstood and the knot in his stomach tightened a bit more.

“Kurt?” he felt three pairs of eyes on him and smiled. After all it was good news, out of the blue, but awesome nevertheless

“Come here silly boy and show us what you sent!”

They spent the rest of the evening watching the video, discussing the songs they wished to sing at the incoming meeting.

Kurt pointed out to them that they were still missing a drummer. Indeed, even if Finn showed some moves to Puck and he, they were still far not good enough at it. After some hesitation Eliott said: “Jokebe can do it.”

Dani turned and stared at him, an eyebrow rose: “The question is: Do we need someone who asked people to call him Jokebe, with us? I mean it's a serious matter here”

Puck gave a high-five to Dani, and Kurt laughed: she wasn't wrong.

“Shut up! It's not her fault if her parents had bad taste! ” Eliott replied; Kurt stared at him a moment to judge if he was joking or not, but his friend seemed deadly serious.

“I think it's drugs, there is no other explanation. I mean, who in his right mind would call their child that? The poor girl. I think we should give a chance, or at least ask her if she wants to help.”

Eliott grinned “I'll deal with her. She ows me a favor. How about you talk about what songs you all wanna do while I call her?”

And, that was exactly what they did. It didn't take them long to agree on two songs: an original and one of The Beatles.

One showing off the voice of Eliott and Kurt and the other for Dani and Puck. When Eliott came back, he gave his go and they commenced to rehearsal the two songs until the perfected it, get Puck to read the few changes they made on “ Irrational Sorrow” before Santana arrived and captured Dani forcing them to stop for the night.

Lost in his thoughts, Kurt had taken care of his night routine, still struggeling to assess the impact of what might be happening soon, could potentially have on his life.

Now, he was in his bed, waiting for sleep to arrive, when he heard someone fidget behind the curtain of his room.

He concentrated on the sound, hoping to get what the person on the other side was doing, when suddenly the curtain opened and someone slid in.

He didn't need to open his eyes to know who it was: Santana and Dani were otherwise occupied.

“Kurt? You asleep?” whispered Puck's voice. Kurt blinked twice before answering.

“No.” And, he waited for a reply that never came. Instead, he heard the muffled sound of paces, friction of cloth, then his mattress lowered as Puck sat... No, he lay on it. Kurt didn't move or talk, he continued to wait motionless.

When Puck's hand found his forearm, Kurt turned his head. “Puck?”

Puck breathed “I'm sorry.”

“Why?”

“You were right, I shouldn't have done it without talking to all of you first. Artie warned me against it, but well, you know me, right? I always act before thinking. And...”

Kurt cut him off “Puck, stop flagellating yourself about it, you..”

“Stop to what?” Asked a confused Puck

“Hum, I mean stop beating yourself up about it. Your intentions were good, but you forgot you weren't the only one in the band. From now on, try to keep it in mind, because we let it go once, but you won't come out so easily next time. Got it?”

“Got it.”

Kurt closed his eyes and tried to fall asleep once more.

“Kurt?”

“Hum?”

“Can I stay with you tonight?”

Kurt reopened his eyes, his heart beating as fast as his thoughts. He stared at his friend, or tried to, but the darkness of the room prevented him from clearly seeing the expression on his face.

Thinking that it wouldn't be the first time they had ever shared a bed, even if would be the first time it happened without reason, Kurt nodded “Okay, but don't steal the blanket this time or I'll kick you out!”

Puck giggled and when sleep finally came Kurt couldn't help but think it was a pretty good lullaby.

Stuck.

Kurt was stuck, he couldn't move and he couldn't bear it. His numb brain attempted to dig up some information and it took him a moment to remember what, or rather who, was blocking him.

Puck.

Kurt realized two things: first his friend didn't take the blanket this time, and then, they were so completely tangled that saying where Puck ended and where Kurt began, would be impossible. They were so close that Kurt felt something.

He wriggled a bit, and got the confirmation he needed: indeed, Puck's erection was pulsing against his thigh. It had been such a long time since he found himself in such a situation... Without thinking, he bucked his hips, hoping to feel the pulsing erection against his buttocks this time.

The breathing on the back of his neck became erratic and Kurt realized what he was doing and with whom. It should never have happened. Awkwardly, he slowly started to crawl toward the edge of the bed.

“Hum Kurt...”

Disturbed, Kurt froze. He glanced at his penis, feeling it rise. He couldn't get excited, not now! Puck was his friend, and he focused on that fact.

Kurt had to get away from here, at least to go on the other side of the bed, to give them each some space. So he started to move again, but once more he didn't get far.

Puck 's arms tightened around him. It was up to the point that he was now pressed from head to toe against his friend, surrounded by his heat, his smell, those muscles and oh gosh! Those hands.

All of the sudden, his brain fried, he found himself unable to think clearly. He was filled with sensations: feeling hands travelling on his arms, on his belly and mapping his whole body; touching him in places that hadn't been touched since Blaine.

It was overwhelming.

His heart was going wild, and his penis jumped in his pajamas when he sensed Puck's member. It was big, even hidden behind his boxer, and the way he slid it against him, arousing Kurt even more.

At first, it was slow, but then something shifted, and Puck put more strength in his moves. Each stroke pushed Kurt against the mattress, adding friction to his front. It was good, so fucking good.

Then, just as suddenly as it had started, it ended.

Climax caught with them both at the same time, almost by surprise. Shivering of pleasure, Puck bit Kurt's shoulder to muffle his groan, as Kurt buried his head in his pillow to keep himself from screaming.

After that, they remained motionless, during a long moment, catching their breath. And, then Kurt was overtaken by reality.

Short breath, Puck cleared his throat. “Kurt?”

Panic returned in full force, and Kurt didn't know what to do. Should he answer and listen to what Puck had to say? Or rather pretend to be asleep? What if Puck said it was just a quickie between friends? What if he said the opposite? Which one would Kurt prefer?

“I know that you can hear me... Don't ignore me, please... Not...” Puck stopped in the middle of his sentence, but Kurt heard what his friend let unsaid as if he had screamed it into his ear “Not you too.”

Kurt recalled what he said to Puck a few months ago; that he shouldn’t let people use him because he was worth more than that. And, here he was, about to use Puck like many people had done in the past. His heart clenched in his chest and when Puck began to move away from him, he turned around and mumbled “Sorry, I was... I just don't know... I...”.

A finger resting on his lips interrupted his rambles. Kurt rose his eyes and stared in front of him in order to perceive Puck's face. It wasn't easy, but he managed. His friend had a faint smile on his face, and it helped Kurt relax. No matter what happened now, their relationship wouldn't suffer from it.

“You're good?”

Kurt nodded, but didn't attempt to talk.

“I am sorry, I shouldn't have done it, not to you...”

Blindly, Kurt pressed his hand on Puck's figure, hoping to shut him up. He didn't want to listen to him excuse himself.

Whatever happened here wasn't Puck's fault more than it was his. Luckily for Kurt, it worked. They remained motionless, and if Kurt's heart had begun relaxing before Puck spoke to him, it was definitely going faster now.

Puck's breath on his fingers...

Puck's fingers on his mouth... One hand on his hip...

Puck's warmth around him...

Puck's lips under his palm...

Puck's shining gaze fixed him... And the kiss...

It was a soft kiss on his hand that took his breath away. Kurt wetted his lips, flicking the fingertip touching it and whispered

”Don’t apologize, please.”

When Puck nodded, Kurt removed his hand, and let it lay on the other man's cheek. It was a bit scratchy, but nice.

Kurt knew he should say something, anything, but he couldn't force himself to talk. He should also stand up, even if only to avoid being just pasted in the morning. However, he couldn't find it in himself to do it. They would have time to talk the next day, when they would be well rested. So he stayed where he was, brushing Puck's mouth with his thumb and slowly falling back asleep.

The next day, they sadly ended up too busy to find some one-to-one time to discuss the happening of the previous evening. They could have woken up like in some romantic movie, happy in each others arms, still in the same bubble-like state in which they fell asleep.... But they didn't.

Instead of a lovely piano quartet, they had been woken up with a start by Santana and Dani's first lovers quarrel. At least the first he was aware of.

At first, Puck and he had stared at each other, on alert. Some crashing noise was heard and they got up as one, rushing toward the curtain. Puck was about to run through it when Kurt stopped him.

“Kurt?” When Kurt didn't answer, Puck glanced above his shoulder.

“Maybe should we change before? And then, I'll go.” Kurt sputtered with a rocky voice. “Alone, I mean”.

Seeing Puck scowl, he quickly added, “You know how Santana is when she isn’t in a good mood, I don't want her to see you leave my room dressed as we are, in her current state of mind.”

As Puck seemed to disapprove his offer, or maybe he didn't appreciate being put aside, Kurt clarified,”I'll try to lead her toward the kitchen so you take care of Dani.”.

Kurt knew that Dani would be less harsh in her comments, more subtle. Even if she had questions related to the event of their night, she would be a lot kinder. Puck, sighed, but nodded.

With a smile, Kurt kissed him on the cheek, searched for two changes of clothes and quickly put his one on before he headed out.

To leave the room with Santana proved easier than he feared. Whatever the reason of their dispute was, Kurt obviously arrived at the right time. Santana's eyes were full of disappointment, and Dani’s full of tears.

For Kurt, it was the first time he saw the two girls argue about anything. Of course they had had their share of disagreements since they had become a couple - which was about a bit more than a year ago, if he wasn't mistaken - but he had never seen them behaving this way. To be honest, it kind of scared him.

Once they were in the kitchen, the feeling of the room was tense. So Kurt started a pancake batter and offered her some hot milk. He discovered it the hard way: no coffee for an angry Santana. She didn't say a word, and he didn't ask her any question. He knew his friend well enough to know she would eventually talk when she was ready, if she ever was .

They could hear muffled sounds coming from the other side of the loft, and Kurt crossed his fingers that Puck had more chance than he had. He gave the three first pancakes to Santana, and she ate them in silence. She looked calmer when she finished her last pancake and still quietly, she stood up to join her girlfriend in the living room, Kurt remained where he was to flip more pancakes for Puck, Dani and himself.

Soon, Puck joined him the kitchen and the atmosphere changed.

The tension was still there, but it was a different one. No resentment, but a lot of unspoken words. They both knew that last night's episode should be addressed, but it wasn't the right place nor time, not with their friends in the other room.  
So, Kurt stayed focused on his cooking, fully aware of Puck’s movements behind him. He was sliding a pancake onto the plate next to the burner when hands wrapped around his waist. He gasped and froze for a second, before leaning on his.. Friend?

Puck's lips danced on his neck, nibbling his ears, leaving a hot path of kisses everywhere they went. A fire was ignited inside of Kurt and he was about to cut the cooker when they heard the girls coming.  
Immediately, Puck released him and jumped aside, Kurt attempted to concentrate on his cooking and regulate his heartbeat.

“Okay guys my girl needs some sweets!” Santana shouted, clearly in a better mood, as a blushing Dani laughed.

Once the impromptu breakfast ended, Kurt rushed to NYADA, before heading for the spotlight dinner. He had the night shift, Eliott came by with Jokebe in tow.

Unfortunately, they arrived during the rush and he barely had the time to present himself. The young woman was far from what he had imagined. And, he cursed himself to have preconceived idea about what a drummer looked like. She looked like a pixie. Very thin with short red hair. She was pretty, but Kurt could bet that between her name and the myriad of freckles displayed on her face her childhood must have been hard. And, despite the short time, they shared together and the fact that he didn't hear her play, he'd got the feeling she would be perfect for them.

When his hardest work time ended, it was close to 10 p.m. Far from being late, but he was so tired that he only had one dream: going to bed. Then, he noticed he had two text messages waiting.

Meeting at Jokebe 4 audition.

On his first reading, Kurt blinked, wondering if it was a joke. He didn't know where the girl was living! All of the sudden, he remembered the second message and Eliott realized his mistake, since it was the address followed by a blushing smiley.

He searched for the direction on his phone and he headed for the metro, dragging feet. He was almost falling asleep standing when he knocked on the door, but forced a smile when it opened. Jokebe was here, all smiles, and friendly, she offered him to come in.

Her place was small, and simply decorated, so he immediately noticed his friends spread around the place. He grinned as he caught Santana snuggled up next to Dani on the couch, before joining Puck on the floor. He imitated his position and also sat cross-legged.

It wasn't as comfortable as his bed, but being near Puck felt nice and exciting at the same time.

“Kurt? Do you want something to eat or drink? I've some juices or water... unless you'd rather a beer?” Jokebe babbled.

“No, I'm good, thank you. I don't want to be a party popper since I've just arrived and all, but how about we start with that audition? You're ready?” Kurt asked while discreetly trying to sneak up a hand under their knees, brushing it up against Puck's hand.

He sensed him shiver and held back a satisfied smile, until he noticed an odd expression on his friends' face. Had they seen it? He could have sworn he had been careful...

“Actually Kurt, we sort of actually did it already.” Dani answered after some hesitation. Anger started growing in him and he closed his lids a few seconds to keep it down before asking.

“Sorry? What did you just say?”

“Well, you finished pretty late, so we asked her to perform, so it wouldn't disturb her neighbors. Oh, but don't worry, we recorded it so you can give your opinion too!”

The attention was kind, but Kurt wasn't in a state to remark it. He only saw one thing: He came all the way here for nothing! They could have sent him the video by text or show it to him later when they would have come back home. He opened his eyes, and the first thing he saw was Santana's smirk which lit up his anger.

“Great. And, no one thought to tell me beforehand? I mean, I don't want to be rude, but you all knew my schedules and at what time I was done! The less you could have done, was to tell me before I came all the way here for nothing! I'm exhausted, so excuse me, but I'm going home. Please, someone send me the audition. Good night.” Kurt stood up, and headed for the door under shocked glares.

As he reached for the handle, he turned around and faced Jokebe. The girl looked completely messed up and Kurt felt bad. Clearly, it was his fault.

Kurt smiled and called her: “Jokebe? I am sorry for my rash behavior. Believe me when I say it has nothing to do with you. I am sure you are a wonderful person and I look forward to get to know you. But not tonight. So I’ll see you around.” and he left before one of his friends had the time to recover and come with him.

That night his bed felt horribly cold and empty, and his dreams were dull.

“Kurt? Ku-urt, it's time to wake up.” sang a voice.

Too early, whoever was calling him had to come back later. Now, Kurt wanted to sleep. Taking a second pillow, he buried his head under to mute the intruder. It didn't work however. The person stole his pillow and patted his hair, making fun of his sleepy hair.

Groaning, Kurt opened one eye ready to attack that killjoy, and stopped himself. Lying beside him, stubbly and only in his underwear, was Puck. The man was such a nice wake-up call, that Kurt forgot his urge for more sleep.

“Hi.” His voice was raw, kind of sexy if he had to be honest. However, when he saw Puck's grin, Kurt blushed like a lovesick schoolgirl, and all the sexiness went to the bin and switched to embarrassment. He buried himself under his blanket, attempting, probably in vain, to hide his flush.

“You feel better?” Puck inquired with an everlasting smile.

Kurt took a moment to really think about the question before frowning “What are you talking about?”

Puck lifted an eyebrow “Well, you were kind of angry yesterday? You left that poor Jokebe in distress. It took us nearly forty-five minutes to calm her down and when I came back you were in a deep sleep. So, do you feel better?”

At Puck's words, he remembered, and blushed even more. “Yes. I was... Tired? And, a bit irritated?”

“Hum. You want a coffee? I made some before coming.”

“Oh my goodness, yes I do! Please!” Laughing, Puck jumped out of the bed and left the room.

During the time he was away, Kurt stretched to wake up a bit more; took some time to tidy up his hair and clean up a bit with the towelette he kept in his night stand. He was barely finished when he heard Puck coming back.

“Here it is dear Prince. Would you mind sharing your modest breakfast with your devoted admirer?”

Eyes wide opened, Kurt turned his head just in time to see Puck coming with a tray. Giggling, he answered “Of course, my dear, why don't you take a seat?”

Kurt gawked as Puck carefully set the platter on the bed, before sitting next to him. Lowering his gaze, Kurt had his first view on their breakfast and beamed. It wasn't neither elegant nor sumptuous, but Puck had been very meticulous. There were two mugs of coffee, two glasses of multi-fruit juice, sugars, a jar of cream, of jam, some butter, a few pieces of bread and a flower.

Not a real common one.

A lovely, but clumsy rose in origami. It was so delightfully made, that when a tearfilled Kurt opened his mouth to speak, he remained unable to say a word.

“Kurt? You still there?”

He eventually rose his head, “Yeah, thank you.” And following his urge he bent and kiss Puck's cheek.

“Oh, uh, you're welcome. Coffee?”

They shared their meal in a companionable silence. Then, Kurt reached for his mug, and leant on the headboard to savor it, lids closed. By the fourth sips, he felt relaxed, it was a good way to start his day, even if it was too early. Suddenly, Puck asked “How about we talk for a bit?”

Kurt was so at ease that he didn't think about what Puck could want to talk before replying “Of course, is it about Jokebe? I didn't listen to her audition yet, but if you've got it, I will.”

“Good, but that's not what I had in mind.”

Puzzled, Kurt opened one eye and glanced at Puck. His friend seemed a bit nervous, so he gave him encouraging smile.

He observed as Puck's eyes went everywhere but on Kurt himself. Puck licked his lips before taking a deep breath and asked “Do you regret it?”

Kurt frowned “Regret what? Oh.... You mean? No! Do you?” it was his turn to be nervous. Short breath and heart going wild, he waited for Puck's answer.

“No” Puck answered.

Kurt sighed, relieved. “Good.”

The silence that fell between them was suddenly very heavy.

“Do you…”

“Maybe we could…”

They both started at the same time, in a very cliché fashion before stopping with a smile.

“ Lame...” Puck commented.

“ Kinda. Maybe we could jump the even lamest 'you go first, no you, no you' part and go straight to the part where you say what you want to say?”

Kurt offered, glancing at his friend from the corner of the eye. Puck was fixing his eyes to his empty mug, clearly avoiding looking at him and Kurt's stomach twisted as he literally stopped breathing.

“Okay. To sum up: I like it, you like it. Maybe we could do something about it?”

“Something? What do you have in mind?”

Puck shrugged “I don't know. Maybe, a date?”

Kurt blinked and he thought 'breath, Kurt breath' it wasn't the best time to faint like a woman with vapors. While Kurt was trying to get a grip on himself, Puck was cutely babbling “If you don't want to, well that would be shitting and awkward for a while, but...”

“Puck, I do!”

“You do?” and now, Puck was staring at him, holding a smile so Kurt nodded.

“Cool.”

“Cool.”

They were ridiculous, Kurt knew it, he could bet Puck knew it too, but at that moment, Kurt couldn't find it in him to care about it. Without looking away, Puck reached for the tray and placed it on the floor next to the bed. Kurt briefly thought they should at least put the butter in the fridge, not waste it. However, when Puck laid down arms opened for him, he stopped thinking and joined him.

He should listen to Jokebe's audition, check Rachel's usual missing phone calls, call NYADA to excuse his absence today, get dressed before Eliott and Dani arrived for the last rehearsals and lots of other things, and yet he didn't move. He just enjoyed Puck's warmth and smiled.

 

Six months later.

Kurt glanced at the time and exclaimed"Shit! Puck, we are late!” then, he rushed to gather his clothes. It always followed the same pattern: It started with a simple hello kiss and before they knew it, they were sweaty, breathless, relaxed and mostly naked, on the couch, the floor, the bed or anywhere the fantasy led them...

That day, it was the carpet in the living-room. They had arrived early to get the Friday night diner ready, but had gotten side tracked. Which meant that they had now, less than one hour to take two showers and to start a diner for eleven people. Indeed, all their New York family was expected.

It had taken time for Kurt to talk to Sam and Blaine again.

At first, all their friends stayed out of it, but not for long. Around one month after the break-up, Artie came to him, saying he should give Sam a chance to explain himself; then Tina came, and Rachel again.

Those talks were tiresome, but he managed to resist, until Finn interceded.

One night, whereas he went to bed alone, - in fact ever since his relationship with Puck changed of status - he arrived in the white room and...

_He had stopped looking for changes in the door color a long time ago. It was always in the same shade of green.The decoration, however, was constantly a surprise._

_When he arrived that night, the sofa was gone, and had been replaced by two fainting-couches. Finn was lying on one, wearing an orange toga and a laurel wreath while eating fruits coming from what looked like a bronze basket._

_“Ave Kurt take a seat or whatever that thing is called!” Finn exclaimed in an attempted of a serious tone._

_Kurt burst out laughing and replied “It's a kliné, Caesar Finn” as he headed for the Kliné._

_He picked some grape on his way and as soon as he lay, he ate them like they used to in the antic Roma, he coughed and pulled a face: not as enjoyable as he first thought._

_“Kurt, you will take care of mum, won't you?”_

_Kurt glanced at his brother and nodded without understanding the meaning of his question: It was something he was already doing as much as possible despite the distance._

_“I mean, if I am not there anymore.”_   
_Kurt didn't like where the discussion was going “Of course, but you are here so we shouldn't worry about that.”_   
_“Yes, I just wanted to be sure, you know, in case.”_

_“Well, now you know. We should be talking about something else. Did you see anything interesting since the last time?”_

_Kurt knew Finn wouldn't tell him anything, because of some weird principles Kurt had started hating. As expected, instead of answering, Finn changed topic._

_“Hey, did you talk to Sam recently?”_

_“Finn.. You know fairly well that I haven't. By the way I would love if Artie, Tina and Rachel stopped asking me to.”_

_“Well, I can't do anything about that sorry. Why haven't you done it, yet?"_

_“Sorry? You must be freaking joking, right? Why would I want to listen to him? Have you forgetten what he did to me?”_   
_Kurt was staring at Finn reject. “Why? Why should I talk to him?”_

_“Why not? I mean I know what he did, but you are with Puck now. Don't you need closure? Don't you want to understand why they did it? We know they are not together now. And if you ask me their one-night stand destroyed their friendship more than it improved it. You know, they aren't even living together anymore, Sam is with Mercedes and Blaine with Rachel.”_

_“I am aware of that fact. But, hey, why should I care? As it goes: they made their beds, now they must lie in it!”_

_The silence which followed Kurt's exclamation was deafening. Kurt felt Finn's glare on him and fought not to look back at him. Uselessly._

_“That's not the Kurt I know and love.”_

_“But you saw what they did, you even told me! How can you..”_

_“Yes, I saw it, but, you know the deal better than anyone: I see things, but I am not in their minds. I don't know why Blaine decided to cheat or why Sam followed. They are the only ones who could give you the answer you need ”_

When he woke up that day he was still tired and had a headache. The medicine didn't treat it and Finn's words turned in his head all day long. Without being here, his brother wore him down and he called Sam.

Santana and Puck were not happy with his decision, saying he shouldn't be so nice with people who did him wrong, but he held his position.

Kurt and Sam met at spotlight dinner during one of Puck's shifts. It was the concession Kurt had to accept to have this talk with Sam one to one. That way his boyfriend would be there without really being there, if Kurt needed comfort.

In the end, Kurt was happy that he accepted.

The kick off of the discussion had been hurtful. Kurt wasn't sure it was right to be there and Sam'd been feeling shameful and awkward. It had been long, but to Sam biggest's relief, Kurt offered to forget what he did.

Forgetting didn't mean forgiving.

That was how Sam came back in his life.

For Blaine it had been harder. And to be true, as far as Kurt could tell it was neither forgotten nor forgiven. He only accepted to have him back in his life to make things easier for Rachel, Mercedes, Artie and Sam.

But that was a long time ago, and tonight's meal was different: it was the last one before Rachel moved to L.A.

It was a new chapter of their lives. It seemed like life had been moving too fast since he came to New York, two years ago.

He went from working on Vogue.com to work side by side with June Dolloway to get his band discovered, from being Blaine's fiancé to Puck's boyfriend.

And he had absolutely no regrets: except that he would have liked to have gone without the heartbreak.

The competition Puck enroled them brought them further than any of them would have imagined. If the meeting with the production of the show had been short notice, they were lucky enough to have two weeks before coming to the show.

Thanks to that distance, they arranged lots of rehearsals with the new member of the band. His forseen had been right: Jokebe was perfect for them. It seemed incredible to see such a thin girl played. Kurt and Puck often joked by saying she must have some octopus DNA.

The day following the show, Puck received a phone call from, “some chick named June Dollonay or something like that”as he said. She had loved their performance and wished to see them and talk about their futures.

If Puck and Dani didn't know who she was, the three others did and were more than excited to meet her.

Kurt couldn't recall Jokebe's reaction without laughing. She had screamed “But how is it possible for you to not know who she is? It's JUNE DOLLOWAY, guys! She is just one of the most important, one of the coolest socialite of New York! If we have her with us, we can do everything!”

And they did. If Kurt didn't get a good start with Mrs Dolloway, she was completely smitten with Puck, and Eliott. Thanks to her, they were in contact with the Wallace Company. The six of them _ with Santana, who now acted as their publicist _ had been discussing a recording contract for around two weeks. Nothing had been signed yet, they all had good hopes.

The end of the evening left a bitter-sweet taste in his mouth. Saying goodbye to Rachel and Jesse was hard. Harder than he imagined for Jesse.

With time, they all had more and less gotten used to see Jesse and Rachel together again. Surprisingly, the man had worked hard to be accepted by Rachel's friends, and Kurt was glad he was going with her in Los Angeles. Finn was right, they were good for each other, in a very strange and dramatic way.

Smiling, he remembered how she had reacted to his relationship with Puck. All the screams and hand motions. Of course she might have had a better reaction if she hadn't caught them in action in the shower.

It was funny now, not so much at the time. Even less when her screeching had led everyone present in the loft at the time straight to the bathroom.

Meaning: Santana ("Hmm kinky! "), Dani (who already knew), Jesse (who managed to calm Rachel and gained their eternal gratitude), Mercedes ( who turned around in giggling hiding her eyes behind her hand ) and Sam (who just laughed before being dragged away by his girlfriend).

That scene took place a bit more than a month after their first date. Now, he was holding Rachel tight, making her promise to call as soon as they touched down. It was hard to let her go, and as soon as he did, he reached for Puck's hand to anchor him.

One after another, his friends left, until only Puck and he remained. They stayed by the door in each others arms until Puck said “You're okay Prince?”

Kurt didn't reply, instead he tightened his arms around the waist of his boyfriend, letting his tears slid along his cheeks.

Understanding, Puck patted his back and kissed the top of his head. “Hey, that wasn't a goodbye forever, you know? You will see her again some day. And, knowing Rachel and Jesse as we know them, we will be soon bombarded with phone calls, text messages, and meeting on Skype...”

Kurt snorted, that wasn't wrong.

“Yes," he laughed. "Now let's get to bed, I don't know about you, but I am dead tired.” And after a last kiss in his head, Puck bit his neck and ran toward the bathroom.

“You brute!'” Kurt exclaimed before going after his boyfriend.

Puck howled with laughter and when he reached the bathroom door, he glanced over his shoulder and held out his tongue ”Stop the fussing, You love it and I know it!” and he closed the door.

Kurt stared at it, disbelieved. He didn't, did he? Kurt tried to pull on the handle, but it didn't move.  
“PUCK! Open the door!” His only response came in the form of an evil laugh.

Half and hour later, Kurt came into his bedroom. Puck was already in bed shirtless. Kurt could bet his most precious scarf that the other half of his body, hidden under the sheet, was just bare.

He sneered in the inside.

He was still mad about the bathroom, so to get revenge on him, he chose to put a pajama on. A pajama, with a lot of tiny buttons, buttonned all the ways up. Of course he was aware that Puck wouldn't be the only one bothered, but it was worth it just to see his face.

“Prince?” Puck asked, clearly baffled. Kurt lifted his nose and failed to notice the call. Instead, he went to his side of the bed and slid between the sheets, his back turned to the other occupant.

“Come on Kurt that was a joke, don't be like that...”

Smiling, but motionless, Kurt let his boyfriend stew in his juice, maybe even believe he was in the dog house for the night.He had not expected that Puck would try to coax him with anything other than words, at least not so soon. But he did, and his resolution crumbled under kisses, hugs and caresses. When sleep came it was late, or rather early in the morning.

_“I finally did it!” Finn exclaimed._

_“Oh please, tell me you are not dressed as Dora, that would be ridiculous, funny, but ridiculous.” Kurt said before daring to look at his brother, but stopped before finding him._   
_They were not the only ones in the room._

_“Nice costume Cinderella,. You know, I prefer the last suit I saw you in.” Puck commented._

_“ Suit? Which one?”Kurt asked half because he wanted to know, and half because he was still puzzled to see his boyfriend in Finn's room, at the same time as he._

_“Your birthday suit of course!”_

_“Oh god my ears! I just don't need to know that. No talk about nakedness while I am still here, okay guys?”_

_Kurt nodded and finally lowered his eyes to see what he was wearing. “That's not Cinderella, that's Mulan, you are Rapunzel.'” he finally glanced at Finn and pointing at him he added “ Here is the Beauty. Finn, why are we all dressed as Disney's princesses?”_

_His brother smiled, and Kurt noticed a sadness in his eyes that wasn't there before. "Because it fits.”_

_“What the fuck? How the hell does it fit to dress me up as that Rapunzel's girl? I know I said that I could wear a dress to school and people would think it's cool, but life proved me wrong. And, I don't think this shade of pink is my color.”_

_“Who cares about the color? It fits.” Finn announced as though was logical. And, it probably was, for him. Kurt looked around, and smiled, the room had gained new furniture: a round table in wrought iron, and chairs that matched._

_Kurt grabbed the hand of a sulky Puck, and pulled him toward the table to sit with his brother. Once settle down, Kurt asked “By the way, what were you talking about when we arrived?”_

_“What?”_

_“He is right dude, you screamed 'I did it!' ” Puck replied still fighting against his dress._

_“Oh, well, I have been trying for a long time to get us all together here, and there we are!”_

_Kurt and Puck looked at each other: there was something strange here, and whatever Finn had under his sleeve, they weren't going to like it._

_“So why Rapunzel ? Because I must say I don't see how it's appropriate." Puck interrogated in an obvious attempt to change the conversation._

_“Because that's so you! I mean: She is a badass who needed help to find her way into the world.”_

_Kurt smiled when he saw Puck accepting Finn's explanation.”What about me?”_

_“Easy! At the first glance you might seem as thin and fragile, but you are greatest badass, you take charge and you are good. That's you!”_

_“And why the Beauty?”This time took his time to answer, his gaze was avoiding them both. If Kurt didn't know better, he could have sworn he was glaring at the green door._

_“Finn?”_

_”Dude, stop it with the suspense, you know I hate it!”_

_Unconsciously, Kurt's grip tightened a bit more on Puck's hand. “ Mine doesn't fit as well as yours... It's a person, who had been kept safe all her life. Just as I was. Then, when she was sixteen, she had an accident and she slept for a long time. She's kind of like me. Like I've done here. But, she was luckier because she woke up and got to live her life. Me...”_

_“Dude, no...”_

_“It's time, I mean, didn't you notice?”_

_“Noticed, what?”_

_“The door.”_

_As one Kurt and Puck turned to stare at the door, not catching what Finn meant. It hadn't changed in days. It was green to them, but as far as Kurt knew it had always been white in his brother's eyes._

_“Okay, so what about the door?”_

_“It changed. Don't you see the emergency issue board on it? The meaning of it is clear, and neither of us is dumb!”_

_Kurt couldn't see the board, but he was right: the color was exactly the same and he shivered. He wasn't ready, he didn't want to see Finn walking through that door, not now! It was way too soon. Kurt started shaking his head, “No, you can't, I need you, you can't leave..”_

_“He is right dude, we need you! Who would help me to not fuck up with Kurt? And You have to be there for our first Grammy and Kurt's Tony...”_

_“You don't need me, any of you. You have each other, and Burt and mum. Your mum also Puck and you totally should call her more often. You have friends, alive friends who can be there for you better than me. And, I told you, it's time for me. The door had been calling for a long time, but I wanted to say goodbye to you, to both of you. Goodbye guys, I wish you the best. ” And without giving them a moment to comprehend or accept the reality he stood up and headed for the door._

_One._

_Two._

_Three, and Kurt jumped from his chair to catch him before he could open the door, Puck was on his tail, as if his movement broke the spell Finn's departing words brought them to._

_However, the room wasn't big and they jumped just in time to see him snap his fingers and shift his clothes: gone was the blue dress, they were faced to the Finn they had known: in blue jeans and football jacket.That vision froze Kurt, but Puck kept walking, reaching with his hands, as if he was still hoping to prevent the departure._   
_Finn's hand was on the handle, and he flashed them a grin over his shoulder, showing off his dimples._

_A dazzling light flooded the room and Finn disappeared from their view._

 

Kurt woke up with a start, and he sighed: it was a nightmare, a horrible nightmare: Finn wasn't gone forever. Kurt had just woken up, that was it.  
He closed his lids a second and he sighed before lying down once again. He wetted his lip and looked at his boyfriend. Watching Puck sleep, always helped him to calm down , but he squinted and his heart froze: Puck was awake, and he was in tears.

 

Large silent tears rolled down his cheeks.


End file.
